The Aftermath - The Stupendium

Hey!

I just transferred, I’m new!

My last school had a few too many waifus

So after a few suicides I moved

I’m just after a class I won’t have to survive through

First day!

Wow, I’m excited!

Numbers is what I take pride in

I can do times and dividing

Best in class of 1990!

My IQ’s the highest, likely

Shoes are tied and tie is tidy

And though he’s a bit unsightly

My professor’s sure to like me!

My name’s Baldi!

Greetings class!

Test me, sir!

I’m sure to pass!

First question!

What’s 2+1?

Easy, 3!

Boy, this is fun!

You’re doing great, what’s 2+8?

10 is what I calculate!

Question three!

What’s?

What???

No!!!

I need to call my mom but I’ve got no hall pass

So I’m stuck hiding from a balding psychopath

You got the question wrong.

See me after class

Numbers are harmless fun but fear the aftermath

If Slender and Mavis Beacon were freaking and the baby took to teaching

That would be the creature we’re seeing creeping around this evening

Education’s not a vocation this abomination should be seeking

Is he trying to expand my mind?

Or just leave pieces on the ceiling?

Trapped here to tackle attacks from the faculty

Blast cans, grab snacks for the calories

Running for sums takes stamina, actually

Now I see what they mean by a mathlete

Do I not need a pass from my family?

Calculus entered the hazardous category

Practicing math shouldn’t factor fatalities

Even the dastardly Janitor’s after me!

SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP!

The massacre’s sanitary

Jump rope frantically

On a roll in this honor roll tragedy

Won’t be home after I hope there’s no bach' degree after I graduate

It’s a baffling fallacy

Any establishment pays him a salary

Next time I’m fishing for extracurriculars

I’m gonna stay playing Big Brain Academy

I need to call my mom but I’ve got no hall pass

So I’m stuck hiding from a balding psychopath

You got the question wrong.

See me after class

Numbers are harmless fun but fear the aftermath

Who signed off making minors go through

Such fright to find all these noteboos?

With an old dude

With an old rule

Make a sound, hunts you down through the whole school

There’s a gold rule

Pay attention

If they’re broke you’ll get detention

There’s a bully and a sock with a vengeance

And the principal’s a little bit relentless

Show my infractions in fractions

It’s one in one--each action’s

Dragging me straight back to this classroom

Trapped as that ruler is slapping

This sub’s gon' put me in traction

Man, I’ve got no chance of passing

If even MatPat can’t manage

Haphazard mathematic madness

All my mentors and classmates are tracking me down

Forget Fortnite, this is a Battle Royale

And I gotta get out, but every door that I’ve found

Keeps locking me down as soon as I come around

Bet you’ll regret it the second the roll call calls your name

That extra credit won’t get you nothing but early graves

When will you learn?

I wanna play with someone!

I’ve got nowhere to turn, I think this game is broken!

Detention for you!

I hear the doors you open!

I’ve been marked for death and had my snack bars stolen

Call my mom, tell her to get here fast!

Because I’m hiding from a balding psychopath

You got the question wrong.

See me after class

Numbers are harmless fun but fear the aftermath

Fear the aftermath

Fear the after, math