An Impostor Calls - Dan Bull, The Stupendium

Just another day of duties on the Skeld

Slightly spooked by all the crew that we’ve expelled

Out the airlock, thinking that we’re Sherlock

Trying to ensure whatever is aboard is sent to Hell

'Cause I’ve a sneaking suspicion there’s a freak on the mission

And they’re picking us off one by one

But with each wrong decision, we are missing a technician

And there isn’t anywhere to run

Did you har that?

Better finish the task that’s in hre and dash, in fact

I’m a beginner at this but still, I’ll give it a bash

Unclear if anybody witnessed me get rid of the trash

But if they didn’t, we’re in for a nasty imminent crash

The killer has to be diligent

'Cause a slip of the mask could mean the difference

Between winning and getting evacuated

We’re trapped in a heated debate on who’s a friend or a foe

Will you be yeeted to space?

Dunno, depends on the vote

Now I’m losing faith in my crew

And I’m pointing fingers at you

We’re finding them gone, one by one

Until we’re finally down to two

I know that I’ve got nothing to prove

And so have you been telling the truth?

Well, I’m placing my faith in the vacuum of space

‘Cause face it, we haven’t a clue

I hate to vent but I’m gonna get accusatory

By the vent, well, I just saw something super gory

Brought you here to hear my story, listen up or you’ll be sorry

If you’re in a room with Blue, I put to you that you should worry

For goodness sake, you must be mistaken if you’re making

Such a baseless accusation, I mean look at this face

Isn’t it innocent?

Fragrant as a cinnamon bake

So you better shift the blame or face your imminent fate

I was in electrical inspecting all the wires

I know you’re skeptical, I tell you he’s conspired

I swear I saw a flash of tentacle eviscerate the ventricles

Of one magenta gent that Blue offensively retired

That’s a lie, I didn’t do it, it was you and I can prove it

Let’s retrieve the CCTV

We will see the culprit while we view it

No need, I’ve seen it and deleted it already

I swear these days, only repeats are on the telly

Now I’m losing faith in my crew

And I’m pointing fingers at you

We’re finding them gone, one by one

Until we’re finally down to two

I know that I’ve got nothing to prove

And so have you been telling the truth?

Well, I’m placing my faith in the vacuum of space

‘Cause face it, we haven’t a clue

Red alert, we need security, there has been a murder spree

Isn’t it suspicious that no witnesses were there to see?

Would you quit giving me the third degree?

Refer to Green

Green’s dead, his bleeding head’s in the infirmary

We urgently need an emergency meeting

To determine what we should do

But everyone’s speaking, mute 'em

There’s been a mutiny of mutants who are being a nuisance

So we need scrutiny to foresee which beans are humans

It’s either me or you, the people viewing can see the truth, look

Methinks the lady do be pleadin' just a wee bit too much

Would the crew please report to the bridge?

Crew to the bridge, thank you

It’s you or me, it’s me or you

And I can’t see what we should do

We’ll cast a vote and when we’re through

We’ll save the ship or doom the crew

Now I’m losing faith in my crew

And I’m pointing fingers at you

We’re finding them gone, one by one

Until we’re finally down to two

I know that I’ve got nothing to prove

And so have you been telling the truth?

Well, I’m placing my faith in the vacuum of space

‘Cause face it, we haven’t a clue

I say it’s him, he says it’s me we should dispatch

So cast a vote and blast a bloke out of the hatch

Fine, I know when I’m not wanted, thanks a lot guys

Oh, look, low oxygen, what a surprise

Well, it still beats being stuck with you

By the way, good luck flushing the loo

Don’t mind me whilst I prime the shields