A Matter of Facts - The Stupendium

JT set a challenge.

I’m here to answer it

You want facts?

Boy, well you asked for it

I’m gonna give ya' some trivia mastery

And put the facts on blast til' class dismissed

It’s the truth, ain’t no party trick

I’m bringing facts to the web like Encarta did

So get your notebooks out, you can quote the track

It’s not a trivial pursuit, it’s a matter of facts

Please have your pen and paper ready

The facts will commence in 3. 2. 1

Facts

Black-thighed falconet, world’s smallest bird of prey

Giraffe’s neck may be long but only seven vertebrae

That’s the same as you would find in anybody, you or me

But can you eat 75 pounds of leaves a day?

The opposite of Deja vu is Jamais vu

When something familiar seems strangely new

A smilodon is what you’d really call a sabre-tooth

And they were nothing like tigers, to say the truth

A reindeer’s eyes go through a range of hues

They’re gold, but in winter change to blue

There are more hats in Team Fortress 2

Than there are real forts in the whole E. U

'Fort Boyard' took 56 years to complete

So by the time that it was built, forts were obsolete

But since the 90s you will find it’s been in use constantly

As the setting of a game show on TV

That’s the sound of a Honda for Indy’s boulder dash

No one really knows the etymology of 'Balderdash'

Escobar had so much gold to stash

He spent thousands on rubber bands just to roll the cash

A group of Jellyfish is called a 'Smack'

A safety helmet was the purpose of the Bowler Hat

You don’t feel pain if you’re a naked mole rat

39 is the record for the oldest cat

Buckle up, this one’s a little morbid

In the 50s laugh tracks were recorded

So if a new show has a canned laugh audience

There’s a good chance that the laughers are all dead

There’s no letter B ‘til you get up to a billion

An ice-cream tester had a tongue insured for millions

Ninety-nine zeroes in a duotrigintillion

Ninety-nine sides is an enneacontakaienneagon

Annually we make seven billion zips

To dot an 'I' is a 'Tittle', on a die it’s a 'Pip'

Tommy Cooper died live, in the middle of a quip

But my granddad once taught him how to build a ship

J is the only letter that is not in any element

The White House got power when Harrison was president

But he never touched the switches, he was scared of them

Relevant, Thomas Edison killed an elephant

There was no electricity in Ethiopia

'Til 1896 when the Emperor

Ordered a brand new electric chair

And realised they couldn’t plug it in anywhere

The world’s first batteries may have been Roman

Three percent of all the world’s cheese gets stolen

Figs use wasps to spread their pollen

But the wasps get trapped and the figs dissolve them

A strawberry is not a berry.

In any way

But bananas are and share half of all our DNA

The first fruit eaten on the moon was canned peaches

From canned peaches on to grand speeches

«We will fight them on the beaches!»

Great speech, can’t be debated

Except the fact that Winston Churchill never really made it

Yeah, he wrote it and performed it for the government of course

But the version that you’ve heard was made years after the war

He was Dippy Dawg, before he was Goofy

Scarecrows were once called 'Hobbidy-boobies'

Jordan and Bugs once advertised shoes, these-

-ads got so popular they went and made a movie

Green screen make VFX a dream

But did you know that years ago they used a yellow screen?

Special sodium lamps on a plain white fill

Make a certain shade of yellow that’s invisible on film

'In Disney’s Mary Poppins, Mary Poppins says Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

backwards

Is Dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirepus

But that’s just the syllables reversed.

Letter for letter, it’s:

Suoicodilaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus

And if you think I’m saying that on the beat, you’re mad…

And that’s a fact

There are more ways to stack a deck of cards

Than the galaxy has stars

And each year we eat so much Nutella

That you could span the Great Wall of China with the jars.

(8 times!)

Coca Cola sell so many drinks worldwide

That measuring profit just won’t suffice

So 'Share of Throat' is a scale they devised

For the percentage of humanity’s hydration they provide

Memetics is the study of shared ideas

And it’s where the word ‘Meme' first appeared

Johnny Cash was a radio engineer

And when Stalin died he was the first to hear

(It's a matter of fact)

That in the wild there are less flamingos

Than there are plastic ones on lawns

(It's a matter of fact)

The man who invented the tube for Pringles

Had his ashes buried in one

(It's a matter of fact)

Every second 5000 statuses are updated

(It's a matter of fact)

4000 new stars are created

(It's a matter of fact)

Every single second takes hours when animated

(It's a matter of fact)

I’m gonna stop now or I’ll never ever make it

If you set a challenge I am bound to react

JT, this has been my counter-attack

If you saw it through, have a pat on the back

It’s not a trivial pursuit, it’s a matter of facts