Twat - John Cooper Clarke

Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end

Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend

You give me the horrors

Too bad to be true

All of my tomorrow’s

Are lousy coz of you

You put the Shat in Shatter

Put the Pain in Spain

Your germs are splattered about

Your face is just a stain

You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag

Do us all a favour, here… wear this polythene bag

You’re like a dose of scabies

I’ve got you under my skin

You make life a fairy tale… Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive

I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive

You’ve got this slippery quality

It makes me think of phlegm

And a dual personality

I hate both of them

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay

Please, please, please, please, take yourself away

Like a death a birthday party

You ruin all the fun

Like a sucked and spat our smartie

You’re no use to anyone

Like the shadow of the guillotine

On a dead consumptive’s face

Speaking as an outsider

What do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist

He recommended suicide…

Before scratching your bad name off his list

And pointing the way outside

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart

You’re heading for a breakdown

Better pull yourself apart

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss

Your attitudes are platitudes

Just make me wanna piss

What kind of creature bore you

Was is some kind of bat

They can’t find a good word for you

But I can…

TWAT