Bunch Of Twigs - John Cooper Clarke

In the isle of man there are no louts

They’re all down the dungeons dishing it out

Think them tough but tender

With a bunch of twigs

And a young offender

Old men with purple necks

Who tell you sport is better than sex

Rejuvenare an old pudenda

With a bunch of twigs and a young offender

Sweet little fifteen on a summer hike

Vandal maimed, vandal spite

Vandals sent to up above

A punishment meted out with love