Kookies - MF DOOM

It’s horrible

One lonely evening alone, home

End up with carpal tunnel syndrome

And here I am, known for giving heavy back aches

Grown and living off of Little Debbie snack cakes

Supposed to be checking emails

All I got is messages from ass naked females

I don’t know a Jenny

She said it’s free and I won’t owe her a penny

And that’s the last time I saw her

But thousands of more horrors on online Gomorrah

And Sodom, they got 'em with they curls out

And they got a better sales pitch than the Girl Scouts

I wonder what I owe her

For a whole box of caramel coconut samoa

(«Nite nite!»), Uh, ok honey, sweet dreams

Now it’s time to get serious like Peek Freans

A metal handful, wipe it on the quilt

Wife wake up and I’m kill’t over spilt milk

Locked in, looking at your picture

Fully clothed winter and I’m right there with ya

Thinking about the last time I split your wishbone

A man could only wish you do the same 'til he get home

Fat chance, at least he get snacks

That’d have to do 'til a brother get back

Until then smack One-Eyed Jack

And hope one of his peoples can hook him with a tri-pack

That’s three different flavors

Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry wafers

Acting all hard, 'bout to get beat up

I’ll show him what time it is once I get this sheet up

Soon as he fell off the beat down

All I hear is, «13th cell, put the sheet down»

Damn C.O., what the hell do she know?

Besides the fact she wanna get dug out on the d-low

A workaholic with a fountain in the ink pen

Out in the mountains and I stopped drinking again

In the wee hours, he’s gotten farther

Needing three showers, being hot and bothered

The wiz with her legs bent, pregnant

God bless the day she wondered where her egg went

I need a L, it’s hard to drink without it

And could use some kookies but trying not to think about it

Watching «BET» on jazz for knowledge on file

Every other commercial, college hoes gone wild

Soft batch, I prefer the other bunch

Like we got for lunch, chocolate fudge butter crunch

He don’t mess with the Ritz Bits

Wheat Thins, Saltines or Triscuits

Matzos or Cheez-Its

Catch sugar fits every time that he sees

Chips Ahoy, double chocolate chunk

Something with the bubble and the junk in the trunk

Even the Oreos, no matter what weather

Always kept 'em dipped in milk and stuck together

In the game he’s shameless

Even uses a code name: Famous Amos

It’s cheaper than a short stay at the Days Inn

And good like 25 cent oatmeal raisin

Give a hand to who invented the camera

Skip past the graham, animal and Grandma’s

Shh, make sure she don’t wake from her dream chill

Or get caught with a handful of cream fill

«Oh, honey!

What are you doing?

That’s so nasty!»

It might seem ill

«Ew!

Go wash your hands!»

(No)

Kookies

«Get out of here!»

«DOOM is master of the world.»

«I'd sure hate to see that ugly mug of yours in my history book.»

«You've disturbed me for the last time.»

(Voice 1): Hey, y’know something gang, that DOOM ain’t really all bad

(Voice 2): What do you mean, Ben?

(Voice 1): Well I gotta admit that I’ve been having a real good time.

Y’know, I mean, between you and me I kinda like being black

(Voice 3): Well, maybe if we’re lucky he’ll attack us once more and send you

back, Benjamin

(Voice 1): Ah-haha very funny, very very funny

(Voice 2): He must be mad

(Voice 4): Well, if anyone can do it.

Nevertheless let’s get out of here,

while we can

(Misc. Voice): Food, we need food