JoJo's Word - DJ Shadow, Stro

Blood on my hands, blood on my wrist, yeah

Fighting the pain, clenching my fist, yeah

Y’all probably saying, «How did he get here?»

I recollect while I sit here

Nothing is going right, dreaming that my demons is on sight

Maybe I’ve been living the wrong life

Project building children, I’m just one of many children

Raised by the system, pops was a victim

We didn’t wanna sell but they was 'bout to evict him

And his whole family, momma got trama from drama

It’s insanity, recently she been strung out

Caught her where the drug dealers hung out

She seen me and ran like shots rung out

Just a matter of time before the block come out

And tell me I’m a crack baby, I need a gat maybe

I’m only 15, it’s that crazy

Blood on my hands, blood on my wrist, yeah

Fighting the pain, clenching my fist, yeah

Y’all probably saying, «How did he get here?»

I recollect while I sit here

Grandma say, «Life is precious», but I can’t stand it

I ain’t living life, I’m doing life on the planet

I got a friend in my head that understand it

That voice taking control, I call her Janet

Not schizophrenic I just see the real things

Can it be therapeutic to kill things?

Especially when they become a burden

Like that little kid that could never get a word in

Never getting love, never been deserving

Well hopefully they clap when it’s closed curtains

I’m so certain, I ain’t finna grow

I don’t wanna breathe, I just wanna go (What?)

Blood on my hands, blood on my wrist, yeah

Face of disgrace, I promised I wouldn’t drip tears

Small heart, big fears, looking in the mirror

This is it, yeah, never thought I’d be my own killer

Mom’s dealer gave me something that’d numb the filler

Every bit of the pain, the wall and floor stained

Been in this bathroom for about an hour

Grandma sleep, she thinking I’m in the shower

But by the time she wake up, no more drama

Just nerve damage and nirvana

A step closer to death, I feel calmer, I feel purpose

At home it’s easy to feel worthless

The knife I used is laying on the floor

I sure am satisfied, I done tried before

I’m having flashbacks to everything that I saw

Then I feel somebody opening the door

Blood on my hands, blood on my wrist, yeah

Family screaming, damn my demons got me

Prayer couldn’t stop me, heaven dropped me

Now I suffer, grandma calling for my mother

She don’t want me but I love her

Sorry to my baby brother, no more pain, I got you covered

All this bleeding fucked the tub up

Grandma lift me, thought I hovered

In this world it’s gotten tougher, pop I love you

So much shit I needed from you

Hope I didn’t disappoint you

It was either this or join you in that prison

Grandma gripping my small body, telling me to hold on

Her palms so soft, make me wanna stay strong

Her eyes watering, wonder where we went wrong

By the time they cared, I was gone