Sorry Song - Pete Gold

There are one or two good things about the British

Though they can be rather shy or even skittish

They’re incredibly disarming

They can be very charming

Indeed, Hugh Grant has earned a living being twittish

As a Brit there’s not much at which I excel

But there’s one thing I can do extremely well

While the French are being rude

And the Swedes are being nude

The Brits, we can apologize like hell

So I’m sorry

Sorry for my hairstyle

It’s a rather square style

All I could afford

I’m sorry

This disc has cost you money

I hope you found it funny

And you weren’t too bored

Well a dear old friend of mine was in a bind

So I agreed to put him up just to be kind

And to my great surprise

I heard myself apologize

Saying «Sorry, but the sheets aren’t even ironed.»

I was minding my own business in a bar

Merely trying to sink a quiet jar

When a pair of drunken louses

Spilled their beer all down me trousers

But instead of crying «Who do you think you are?»

I said

Sorry

Sorry for existing

Foolishly persisting

Please don’t think I’m strange

I’m sorry

Maybe I should think for you

Let me buy a drink for you

Please, keep all the change

I’m sorry

So apologetic

It’s really quite pathetic

At boldness I’m the worst

I’m sorry

Apologies are furtive

Even when being assertive

A «sorry» sneaks out first

I’m sorry, I think you’ll find I was here before you!

Contrition

Cowed into submission

I am really wishin'

I could be a man

Compunction

Self esteem dysfunction

I’m really up the junction

Sorry’s what I am

Key change!

I’m sorry

Sorry for that key change

Something of a C change

Really rather naff

I’m sorry

Still self-referential

Wasting my potential

On an easy laugh

I’m sorry

Sorry for Hiroshima

Gosh, I’d like to wash-i-ma

Hands of all of that

I’m sorry

Sorry for the Alamo

Sorry about Guantanamo

Sorry Blair’s a twat

Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for listening to this CD!

I hope you’ve enjoyed it, and if you haven’t, I’m sorry.

In the meantime,

let’s all apologize together!

We’re sorry

Sorry about the ozone

Now it’s a no-go zone

Let’s hope it grows back

We’re sorry

Sorry about the empire

Let’s all make a bonfire

Of the Union Jack

We’re sorry

For murder, war, and famine

Perhaps we should examine

Where we all went wrong

We’re sorry

Sorry for all our folly

Sorry for being sorry

Sorry for this song

I’m sorry

I have to take my leave now

Promise not to grieve now

Time to say ta-ta

I’m sorry

To have to go and spoil it

I really need the toilet

See you in the bar

Well I’m sorry

I’m repentent

I’m disconsolate

And abashed

If sorry was a radio station

I’d be the transmitter

And I couldn’t be more sorry if I was

Gary Glitter

I’m sorry

So sorry

I’m sorry

Oh, still feel terrible…