Even a Palm Tree - Paul Heaton

I can’t find you attractive

Unless I’ve had drugs

What about just getting plain drunk?

She shrugs

I mean, flies love shit

And lizards love bugs

Yeah but there ain’t no snails

Sleeping with slugs

Like there ain’t no Kings

Sleeping with ho’s

You saying a slug ain’t never climbed a rose?

You think when Adam had Eve, Eve chose?

Y’all just cavemen in better cars

And worse clothes

When the man has had quite enough

Of woman answering back

He goes out and buys a dog

But not to race on track

6 months training dog

To be a genuine friend

That serves him

Companion to the end

The only difference 'tween the wife

And what the dog don’t do

Is make his tea most every night

And grant him monthly screw

Y’all just cavemen in better cars

But worse clothes

So when I drank that quart of vodka

And turned up at your door

Was it meant to say I love you

At half past fucking four?

Is that what true love does to you?

Does it microwave your brain?

So you can’t tell the difference

Between love and pain

I was trying to say I love you

That I want to make amends

You throw stones against my window

And you think we’re back to friends

Y’all just cavemen in better cars

And worse clothes

He’s going out cause it’s not raining

She’s staying in too despite the sun

Drawing curtains on a summers day

Causin' sadness just searching for fun

Loving life for no real reason

Adore your job cause you love the pain

Hate working in high season

Even a palm tree needs a little rain

Meanwhile, the woman bored

Of not being listened to

Buys a cat to prove just that

It’s him and not just you

That cat it may not say that much

But least it lends it’s ear

To conversation livelier

Than football, girls and beer

Y’all just cavemen in better cars

But worse clothes

He’s going out cause it’s not raining

She’s staying in too despite the sun

Drawing curtains on a summers day

Causin' sadness just searching for fun

Loving life for no real reason

Adore your job cause you love the pain

Hate working in high season

Even a palm tree needs a little rain

Even a palm tree

Even a palm tree

Even a palm tree needs a little rain