Funeral Pyre - Julien Baker

I wake up with the same pain every night

Digging a hatchet into my left side

Clearing my chest of something to burn

Ash for a decorative urn you keep in your mantelpiece;

Like a trophy for everything

That withers eventually

Call me a coward, but I’m too scared to leave

'Cause I want you to be the last thing I see

C’mon, call me a coward, because I’m too scared to leave

Watched you pouring lighter fluid out onto the leaves

And I would’ve loved you with the dying fire

Let you smother me down to the embers

Frostbite turning my limbs as black as cinder of funeral pyre

And I would have stayed if you’d asked me to

Stood outside till my lips turn blue

I wouldn’t have blamed you

For leaving me there on the porch while you drank gasoline

'Cause it’s what you needed so bad

And it’s true

It’s nothing that we could do