God Hates The Tips - Trevor Moore

God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks

God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks

So if your kid’s a male

Even though he’ll scream and yell

You gotta cut it off or their little souls will burn in hell

Well way back in the beginning

God was making men and women

And the fish of the sea and the birds of song

He announced he made perfection

But on closer inspection he noticed that he left one piece a bit too long

God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks

God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks

So if your kid’s a male

Even though he’ll scream and yell

You gotta cut it off or their little souls will burn in hell

God gathered people’s leaders

Said start snipping baby’s wieners

This will be a sign of our love and covenant (Covenant!)

A few then went and raised objections

Saying they didn’t see the connection

But he said «I'm God so none of this needs to make sense.»

He told us «go cut 'em with the scalpel!

Go cut 'em with the scissors!

Or go and perform a metzitzah b’peh!»

And that’s where the Rabbi sucks the blood

Out the baby’s penis with his mouth

I swear to God that’s a real thing go and Google it

Now today across the land

People still keep his commands

And children learn their first lesson right after birth (after birth!)

The ones who are supposed to protect them

Hold them down and painfully correct them

Then they smile and say «welcome to life on earth.»

God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks

God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks

So take a little off the top

Because that’s what God instructs

Unless it’s not, and some ancient pervs just made it up

Unless it’s not, and some ancient pervs just made it up