If I Had A Gun - The Dead Milkmen

Would I be amused

Would you be impressed

Knowing that I had the power

To put a hole into your chest?

When the kids are crying

After the welfare check’s been spent

Would I rob a licquor store

To get money for the rent?

If I had a gun… If I had a gun

Would I start smoking Marlboros?

Would i stop smoking Kents?

Would I gain some new respect?

Would I gain some confidence?

Would I suddenly go crazy

And shoot my family

And see myself years later

On some crime show on TV

If I had a gun?

Would i wear it in a holster?

Would I keep it concealed?

Would I put it on the table

Everytime that I’m misdealed?

When I hear a nearby gunshot

When I’m up at night alone

Would I feel a little safer

Here in my urban home

If I had a gun?