This Week, Americans - Stephen Sondheim

Last week, the Germans.

You can keep the Germans.

Always cheap the Germans,

Even on a trip.

Sweet, not the Germans.

Sweat a lot, the Germans.

Full of smiles, the Germans.

Don’t expect a tip!

But this week, Americans, open armed Americans!

I am charmed, Americans.

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!

I love Americans;

The pleasure is mine!

Remember: no breakfast after half past nine.

Next week, the English.

You should see the English.

All that tea, the English.

Thirsty, I suppose.

Good eggs, the English.

Rotten legs, the English.

All those teeth, the English

Rows and rows and rows!

But this week, Americans,

More than kind Americans,

Much aligned Americans,

Welcome, welcome, welcome!

I love Americans And my home is yours!

I can’t be responsible, so lock your doors!

Then come Parisians:

Full of food, Parisians.

Always rude, Parisians,

Every one a sneak!

Perfumed Parisians,

Over groomed Parisians,

Middle class Parisians,

Far more cheek than chic!

But this week, Americans,

Generous Americans,

Never fuss Americans,

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Thank you, Americans, for coming to stay

Spoken Giovanna… etc.

How charming my guests are from the

U. S. A…

No alcoholic Swedes,

No double dealing Russians,

No Spaniards with their beads

And their deafening discussions.

No narcissistic Greeks,

They’re worse than the Italians.

With over blown physiques

And Saint Christopher mendalions.

No millionaire Brazilians

Who somehow never pay.

I much prefer the millions from the

U. S. A…