The Hook - Stephen Malkmus

At age 19 I was kidnapped by Turkish pirates

Mediterranean thugs

After some torture they considered me their mascot

Cypriotic good luck

I had to taste the deck and many other things

I had to pay the piper with my wedding ring

And I would never see my family again

By 25 I was respected as an equal

My art was a knife

On countless raids I was the first one up the lanyard

Yeah I was seeking a fight

There is no time to pray

And there’s no time to beg

And then it’s off with an arm

Or it’s off with a leg

And if I spare your life

It’s because the tide is leaving

Oh yeah

By 31 I was the captain of a galleon

I was Poseidon’s new son

The coast of Montenegro was my favorite target

It was ever so fun

We had no wooden legs

Or steel hooks

We had no black eye patches

Or a starving cook

We were just killers with the cold eyes of a sailor

Yeah we were killers with the cold eyes of a sailor