Second to Last Will and Testament - Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine

The debts that I got from gambling

The warrant for my arrest

All my bills which are now outstanding

And the bullet hole inside my chest

Give my body to medical science

If medical science will have me

They can take my lungs and kidneys

But my heart belongs to Daphne

Daphne!

Leave a night light on beside my death bed, baby

Turn the pillows, change the sheets

But don’t switch on my electric blanket

Till it’s time to sleep

Call my lawyer!

Are you prepared to meet your maker

And ask for you money back?

Have you got a receipt?

Are the goods damaged in any way?

This is my second to last will and testament

Only a rough draft

A handwritten estimate

Left on a shelf, never signed or delivered

With a picture of myself on a boat by the river

Don’t bury me at sea

The pollution might kill me!

Just put my remains in a cheap box

And grill me

My pension and dole

Are there in the wardrobe

My air-cushioned soul

And my Blue Circle overcoat

I’ve left you no answers

Just hundreds of questions

This is my second to last will and testament

Before I, James Robert Injustice

Being of unsound body and mind

Die