Craig's List - Schaffer The Darklord

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

And which is worse, a good idea that fails or a bad one with legs?

To be terse, your pardon I beg

This first verse is the story of a boy named Craig

Newmark, whose arc did start while parked at a job

Doing computer security for Charles Schwab

In '94 the bubble was still just a little glob of bubble gum

And no one knew the trouble’d come

Craig was among the elite geek e-community

The few proud who traded data electronically

And to all his friends with which he shared such cameraderie

He would send out a list of events that he wanted to see

And that’s how it all got started

His idea hatched, took flight and departed

Not so much a revolution as an e-solution

Then a friend said «Can I use the list to rent my apartment?»

And another said «I'd like to sell my car on your list.»

«And I’d like to find that girl from the party I kissed.»

Another one tried to find the watch knocked off his wrist

And another found a temp gig as an admin assist

He’s makin' a list (what?)

He’s makin' a list (who?)

He’s makin' a list (Craig?)

He’s makin' a list (yeah)

Repeat Chorus

Well, before you know it it exploded overnight

What was once a list was now a website

But to his nerd values, Craig did stay true

Gave some jobs to his friends, refused all advertising too

And what’s so great is that the users really run it

Actin' like God, c’mon, everybody’s done it!

You’re readin' the list, you check a suspicious ad

And like a citizen’s arrest you click and give it a flag

Miscategorized ads are sent for review

As well as the spam, which is prohibited too

Craig has faith, you will behave with civility

Although the list is still rife with illegal activity

Repeat Chorus 2x

Get a job or a haircut, sublet your house

Buy a stolen bicycle, cheat on your spouse

Hire an intern, post your resume

Find a kinky pen pal you can IM all day

Sell some concert tickets (click it) buy some used skis

Give or get a blowjob, maybe a disease

Find a bassist for your band and then post up a show

Find a speed or coke dealer searching Tina or Snow

Find homes for puppies, have phone sex with yuppies

See pics of erections, or place a missed connection

Find your lost journal and find a ride to Burning Man

Or find an LTR in a personal ad

Buy yourself some bootleg DVDs

Find a horny tweaker for some PNP

Log on after 3 when all the users are usin'

And the list is all electronic cruisin'

Join a study group or a community garden

Find a leather nipple pain pig and beg his pardon

Post in a forum, find you a ride share

Activity partners, is right above child care

I’d like to thank Craig for all of his aid

In finding me roommates and a job that well paid

I placed up an ad for ten days, it stayed

And I’m afraid that Craig’s list has even gotten me laid

Women seeking women seeking men seeking other

Seeking friends of Susan seeking her long-lost brother

Seeking work, seeking rooms, seeking a fling

Seeking out the god-damn weirdest things

Anything you can think, including dirty deeds

Use Craig’s list, you’re guaranteed to succeed

That’s right, and you just might even find it for free

Like Snoop said, «never have a want, never have a need.»

Repeat Chorus 2x

Outro:

He’s makin' a list (what?)

He’s checkin' it twice (who?)

He sees you when you’re sleeping (Craig?)

Cause he’s up all night (yeah)

This is the only song ever written (what?)

'bout a website (who?)

Called Craigslist.

You write a (Craig?)

Line that rhymes with dot-org.

(yeah)

Repeat Outro

He’s makin' a list (what?)