I Am Not A Muse - Paul Heaton, Jacqui Abbott

I am not a muse

I don’t have hits on charts with other people’s bad news

I’m not a series of childish clues that believe cleverly in half truths

I am not a muse, I am not a muse…

I am not some sad jack in anorak or half-cap, high on smack

I am not a muse, I am not a muse, I am not a muse, I am not a muse…

I am not in the band because Daddy didn’t understand

I do not gain from others' pain and then sell it back to them again

I’m not mad or insane

I’m not into early Miles Davis or John Coltrane

I am not a muse, I am not a muse, I am not a muse, I am not a muse,

I am not a muse…

I am not a muse

I do not profess to love the blues

I’m not fit to shine Gram Parsons' new soft shoes

I do not mention countless interviews, countless interviews, I am not a muse

I am not a northern star

I do not greet my friends with 'ay-ups' and «Alright lads»

I don’t sit outside of Italian

I am not a muse

I’m not a series of «don'ts and do’s» and «who's whose» for the middle classes

to peruse

I don’t hang with North London crews

I am not a muse, no I ain’t no muse…

I am not a professional southerner

I know I’m not «Alright, guv’nor.»

As one masochist said to the other, «don't beat yourself up about it, brother

Don’t beat yourself up about it, brother.»

I did not form a band to get a larger plot of land

It was not engineered or planned to spend a life by sea or sand

To get our tail feathers fanned

I am not a muse, I am not a muse

I am not a muse

I’m not into Robert Johnson

I don’t love those Delta blues, I can feel the breeze but I can’t change a few

I am not a muse, I am not a muse

I am not in the band because Daddy or Mommy didn’t understand

I do not gain from others' pain and then sell it back to them again

I’m not mad or insane

I’m not into early Miles Davis or John Coltrane

I am not a muse… x16