Golden Age Raps - Open Mike Eagle

Whatever it’s supposed to be

Do what it’s supposed to do

Make you uncomfortable

Make you uncomfortable

Fuck Redding, California, cause shit’s pretty racial there

I’m envious of anyone with full-grown facial hair

Yeah, I’m always in between haircuts

But FDR said it ain’t shit to be scared of

Huh, he must have never smoked herb

Been beaten by his dad or heard bad spoken word

I got a pretty mean overbite

I’m still trying to navigate the settings on my Focusrite preamp

Condenser mic attached with a c-clamp

Weed on the patio, chiefing under the heat lamp

Yeah, or sneak in with a g-pen

And take that shit to church and stay high all weekend

Yeah, I’ll fucking interrupt your telecast hella fast

From blonde wig and blue eyed Ellen mask

Watch me dance.

Are you watching?

I’m cold

We should invest in inner-ear monitors

And start our own niche and gain little weird followers

Yeah, that make the flyest orthotics

And make decent movies out of Alan Moore comics

And creepers can stalk all their exes at the same time

And if your rap career ain’t hitting

You can rap over videos of kittens, it’s the golden age!

Tell the internet how you got fucked over

And buy a minivan with seventeen cupholders

Legal opiates, having yourself a fever dream

And you can watch a video of the bible’s deleted scenes

And nobody ever has to pay for anything

Which is pretty cool cause everybody’s unemployed!

I changed my rap name to Lil' Wonder Boy

Change your rap name to Lil' Lord Fauntleroy

And we can rap about all the different candy bars

Try to get sponsors from Mounds and Almond Joy

And Whatchamacallit, and Nestle Crunch, and Kit Kat

And shit, Toblerone

And watch Twin Peaks on your mobile phone

And take a shot so you don’t feel your broken bones

And move close to home

Or don’t move out to begin with

Smoke herb for your gout and your shin splints

This new colorful weed is pretty intense

There’s thin mints that you can get after you finish wind sprints

And I think that’s it

But all that shit is great right?

That shit is cool!