Eleven Executioners - Momus

Eleven top hats

In the club vestibule

Eleven gentlemen’s cloaks

Hanging up by the black swimming pool

Eleven gentlemen dancing

Each in a style of his own

One is discreetly conversing

On a cordless telephone

And the first he kills only the wicked

And the second kills only the good

And the third he kills people more handsome than him

And the fourth kills the misunderstood

And the fifth kills the women who’ve loved him

And the sixth kills the couldn’t-care-less

The seventh kills people who fill questionnaires in

The eighth kills the deeply depressed

And the ninth kills the twentieth century

And the tenth waits to kill you and me

The eleventh kills only our fear of the tenth

The best executioner he

At some ungodly hour in the morning

The predictable quarrels begin

The first gentleman without warning

Slugs the second one square on the chin

And the third says the fourth is too ugly

And the fifth warns the sixth not to start

And the seventh stops dead in his telephone call

A stiletto has punctured his heart

And the eighth is sick in the cistern

And the floodwaters fuse all the lights

And the ninth drops his copy of 'Jane's Defence Systems' on the floor

In an act of sheer spite

And the tenth drums his fingers and swings his feet

Because somebody’s stolen his scythe

'Til an expert in brinksmanship brings him complete

A medium range nuclear device

And now chairs will be placed on the dance floor

And now lights will be trained on the bar

And a puppet will sing a morality

As an idiot strums a guitar

While the gentlemen sit with erections

You perform in a transparent skirt

A climax without satisfaction

And a murder in which you’re not hurt

And me, I sit where the gentlemen sit

And we love you

And we love you

Yes we love you

I assure you we do

La la-la-la la la-la-la … Plainy!

La la-la-la la la-la-la … Clappy!

La la-la-la la la-la-la … Rolly!

La la-la-la la la-la-la … Backy!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum … Left Hand!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum … Right!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum … Touch your heel!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum … Touch your toe!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum … Touch the ground!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum … Big Burlio!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum … Plainy!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum … Clappy!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum … Rolly!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum … Backy!

Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum …

by the no-no's.