Twin Peaks - MC Chris

Stack up donuts, pack up the pies

Put on the trenchcoat, rack up the lies

Overcast sky and the pines are swaying

The bird gets the worm so I’m up in the AM

Gotta crack a case in a place called Peaks

Where the lights all blink and your outlook’s bleak

Got a lot of caffeine;

interrogating teens cause

the homecoming queen just rolled up on the beach

Wrapped in plastic, white as a sheet

Gave a heart attack to a man name Pete

who couldn’t make coffee, he offered it kindly

Tasted like fish, can’t put it behind me

Back to the hood got a mug of damn good

They say somethin black is in the back woods

The owl’s in disguise and the boys are in the book house

Just like Elm Street, know you better look out

Nothing in this world ever could prepare me

Think later on I maybe need some therapy

Talkin to myself, my reflection scares me

If I’m gonna die I’ll have pie make it cherry

(Cherry, cherry, cherry, cherry) That’s right

Motherfucker, word up!

This pie’s so good it is a crime

Excuse me while I break this rhyme

Was it Audrey, oh so tawdry, freshly squeezed little tease?

Was it the baddie, Audrey’s daddy, busy buying Twin Peaks?

Was it Leland, his attorney, always straightening his tie?

Was it Norma?

She’s a killer I’m still waitin for pie

Was it Jacoby?

He’s an oldie;

used to run with the gangs

Was it Harold Smith, or was his crime that he’s just lame?

Was it Donna, the elitist, packin peaches for James?

Was it Bobby Briggs?

I think it is, keep hearin his name

Was it Leo?

He’s a creepo and his ponytail is evil

And he got a lot of screen time in the unpopular prequel

This detective got diminished so they could finish with Kiefer

But I saw Kristen Davis naked she got fish in her beaver (what?)

Name is Cooper, I’m in a stupor

lying flat in a stained wood room

Usually strapped, but I just got capped

by a man in black or so you would assume

A dude like Lurch says on with the search

Will you dare to dream like you did in Dune?

So I got three clues, and a gun shot wound

and a tick bite bruise, but what’cha gonna do?

The breeze in the trees will squeeze out your soul

like that shit was tartar control

Murder she wrotem nobody wrote back

Gotta bust a ghost no proton pack

That’s right, I put a Ghostbusters reference

in a song about Twin Peaks — everybody’s happy!