Secret Song - MC Chris

I’m deadly pale, bad breath, bad teeth

Hate the sand and the sun, never see me at the beach

I’ll stick with goth chicks transfixed on death

That wear black britches I insist on nice breasts

I sleep in a grave, lived through the Black Plague

Actually that’s my fault, but don’t Wiki that 'kay?

Green hair downstairs, boogers, farts, and phlegm

That’s my stock in trade, see me startin trends

Black and white striped suit or a blood-red tux

Got jack on my hand, in Japan it’s a must

I can change shapes, do pranks, and disguises

Bio-exorcist, I’m the best in a crisis

Parents wanted me to clean up like my brother

Boss used to say I didn’t work well with others

Now I’m independent and my methods are effective

Say my name three times if you want to get connected

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, one, two, three

I like a little lady named Lydia Deetz

Her demeanor is depressed, I confess, that’s sweet

Don’t try to deny, she’s my bride-to-be

Hey K-Mart shoppers, there’s a sale on my services

I’m here to help there’s no need for your nervousness

I’ll eat what you wanna eat, swallow what you say

Relieve you of the living that are ruining your day

Have you read the handbook for the recently deceased?

It’s too thick, like my dick, when I think of little Deetz

She’s the key to my release from this model existence

Coffin lining’s confining and I want out this instant

Me and the Dragster of Doom, we’re the baddest of dudes

We hit the Inferno Room where the ladies get nude

But we’re eternally screwed, so I become a bridegroom

And get little Lydia to lip-sync an «I do»

I must move the Maitlands out of my way

Give 'em zipper lips, pitch a plate on their face

Say «Hello» to hammer-hands, say «Goodbye» to Goulet

Then off to F-L-A, where my review drew raves

Shrimp-glove faceplant, we like cassettes, not 8-track

Clown face, much like, the ones you see in «Dark Knight»

Being dead, kinda sucks, the afterlife’s no fun to us

I’m the name that people trust, the juice that comes from beetle guts

Ah well, I attended Julliard

I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school

I travel quite extensively

I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that

I’ve seen The Exorcist about a hundred and sixty-seven times

And it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it!

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice