Modafinil Blues - Matthew Dear

I’m a touch fast

Though I’ll be last

To play with the heart from the start

I’ll be straight

The second best boy

Unless like the rest boy

I’ll stick around in the house of your mind

At the gate

And I never thought they’d get to you

So tell me have they gotten to you, too?

Did you tell them what they wanted to know?

Did you show them what I wanted to show, you?

And it’s coming undone

So I run and I run

But there’s nowhere left worth

Running to

It’s hopeless at best

But what do we get?

A sense of regret which feels like

Nothing new

I’m the white ash

From the smoke stack

Helplessly floating from embers

That create

Troubled at best, boy

Another decoy

Dipping my hat to the man

Fanning the flame

I never thought they could get you to crack

So tell me how they got me to crack, you

Did you really think you could trust

Such a man with a head full of rust, too?

As it was coming undone

I could have told you to run

But I searched and I yearned for that pill

To get me through

And I’m helpless at best

Equal to the rest

I’ll always forget

Not to be blue