October - Lucidity

I been thinkin' a lot

I been consumed in my thoughts

Assumin' you be true, this isn’t you, I want you to stop

I drop down, to my knees, beggin' you and I plead

Please, don’t leave, I need you just someone to call

I always fall, and when I do you tell me I’ll be alright

I fight wars, in my head, voices makin' my choices

My choice is clear, I want you here, my fear is scared

Of you, impaired, the view ahead is somethin' dead

You said I’d never be alone

And so I stare at my phone

Hopin' I can open somethin', but it’s nothin'

Only take a second, just send a message

Just let it be, I need a sign, a piece

Remindin' me the times that we were happy

But it can’t be, and I feel it’s real, the deal is

Sealed, I’m goin' through emotion, knowing you

Ain’t got devotion, in denial, for a while

I just pile up my stress, I guess I put

That on you, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t mean a thing

I loved you more than I’ve ever loved anything

Last night, I was at your place

Past times, I feel safe

But this time it was different

I can see that you’re switchin'

I can see that I’m losin' you

But what I do, ain’t gotta choice

I’m feelin' different but cut the noise

I hear a difference in your voice

I don’t think that we’re both the same

Things change and rearrange

Time has a funny way

Of makin' people just fade away

Five years and I wouldn’t guess

I’d be here, I’m just a mess

Don’t shed tears, I’ll see you again

Won’t disappear, this isn’t the end

I been dreamin' bout a paradise, in your eyes

But love is just to roll a pair of dice, win a prize

It’s expensive when you get it, can I pay the price

Or will I lose it, hold it in my hands and watch it die

I’m meant to be alone, that’s a pill to swallow

At this point I don’t know if I’ll make it til tomorrow

When I had to let you go, it was full of sorrow

Out of nowhere, didn’t know, to this day I’m hollow

I want you to know, I’ll never talk behind your back

A piece of you is stayin' with me, and that’s a fact

I know everything about you, I’ll be exact

I’m tryna make it without you, I put up an act

Fake smiles like a pro, I’m sick of this

I’m only broken on the low, no fixin' this

Shove it deep, cause I know we’ll never talk again

It’s just crazy to me, this is how we end

It’s dramatic, the lights camera action go

Wake me up, I don’t wanna be here anymore

I see the sun, another day, where’s the girl I know

Is this real, I don’t know, searchin' for a ghost

Love you the most, I meant it every time I said it

That’s how it goes, you love it then you’ll never get it

Take me back to the time we didn’t have a struggle

When I wasn’t searchin' for myself inside the rubble