Secrets - Json, J.R.

Who do you think you are?

To take what wasn’t yours

The innocence I once adored

Was tripped away behind closed doors

The enemies inside my home

But who would ever listen to me?

And all the secrets that you made me keep

It rains on the window paint

Darkness surrounding me

The steps outside my door

Right now I’m sound asleep

The door opens slowly

And I can hear it slightly

But I don’t move or even look to see who it might be

Someone’s next to me

The weight is on my bed

The cover’s pulling back

A hand is on my leg

I want to sneak and peak

But I just can’t seem to let myself

Is my father checking me?

I’m nine and I’m often wet myself

I have no options

Forgot me grip the even mood

Supposed to protect but abusing me

Now I’m so confused

So many emotions with

His sweat dripping

I lay there motionless hoping this night might soon to be over with

Holding back cries

My mind is racing

Closed eyes like I’m not awaken

I’d rather die than be in this situation

As he leaves

I know the secret I buried and hide

But hiding this secret I just seem to be buried alive

Who do you think you are?

To take what wasn’t yours

The innocence I once adored

Was stripped away behind closed doors

The enemies inside my home

But who would ever listen to me?

And all the secrets that you made me keep

And it’s tearing me apart

It’s tearing me apart

It’s tearing me apart

It’s tearing me apart

I’m older, on my own now

I’m grown now

But the secrets still won’t leave me alone now

Wow I felt my innocence melt away

Was living promiscuous really giving myself away?

Why would I protect you?

Truth I would hide and cover

Would anyone believe me?

How could I tell my mother?

Confusion turned to sadness

Sadness led to me stressing

Stressing led to the anger

Anger led to depression

Then I was arrested by a truth that would truly free me

The gospel gripped my heart

Shown me how the father see me

Biblical counseling

Brothers and sisters in my list

Help me endure it

Though it happened, I’ll never forget

But I do have a hope

That I do truly know

In heaven every memory will be whitened in snow

So though I struggle to forgive you

I fight 'cause I must

I must forgive you 'cause I know he’s forgiven me much

Who do you think you are?

To take what wasn’t yours

The innocence I once adored

Was stripped away behind closed doors

The enemies inside my home

But who would ever listen to me?

And all the secrets that you made me keep

And it’s tearing me apart

It’s tearing me apart

It’s tearing me apart

It’s tearing me apart

Papa papa

Why to they come for me?

Papa papa

How do I face my fears?