Defense Mech - Jarv

Alright, glad y’all made it

Before we begin, I’m gonna extend a little warning to any members of my family,

or, you know, if you got kids in the car- You might wanna skip this song…

Women wanna see me, hags wanna touch me

Bitches wanna kiss me, slags wanna f**k me

(Really?)

Well sometimes, sure, if I’m lucky

Couldn’t give a heck if you fat, skinny or chubby

Ugly bitches, you can still get it

Sit upon the di-dick when you finished with the dishes

After the dinner, I’ma get up in you

Then send ya back to the kitchen to fix the kid a sammich

It’s the B to the L to the T for me

Extra bacon and cheddar cheese indeed

Please move quick, keep speedy for the kid

Shoot the mayo on your back like graffiti on the bridge

Get stuffed like a turkey- Slut sucked and jerked me

Upchuck the slurpee nut bust- You thirsty?

Ooooh and it’s just that raw

Funbags galore when I unlatched the bra

Good god, I’m nasty- Some come to smash

And are left spazmatic, spunk-spackling addicts

Average, though most fold with the fantastic

Motion in the ocean, when I stroke, I do a backflip

Flash them tig ol' bits if you’re feeling proud of ‘em

Your dad gon' get mad pissed when he hear my album on

So turn it up, grab your bra, burn it up

Let the big thangs hang when I come to serve the butt

Skanky chicks in lacey linens

Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)

Braid my hair, make me dinner (please?)

Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)

I’m on the highway driving a buck-six

I ain’t even late, but I sure am lit

I’ll pull into your driveway, you’ll get in the whip

I’ll work the radio, you work the stick

It’s a d**k not a joke, take it hard ya' broad

Crash into your bandicooter, I’m a naughty dog

Ya want war?

On your forehead, instead of an «N»

It’ll read «J A R V», let’s be friends

Squeak like a door hinge, release endorphins

Begging me to dive deep, deep in your orifice

Force is never needed, really quite the opposite

Tell me if ya want it, if you want it then I wanna get you

Breathing like a cork-pop, easily before long

She be on her forearms, greasy like oil farm

Sleazy and of course, hot- Pleading for the pork chop

Teething on the corn cob, treat me like a porn star

Skanky chicks in lacey linens

Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)

Make me dinner, then do dishes (please?)

Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)

Yeah, it’s just a hop, skip and a jump

For me to come put my cock-dick in your (what?)

Umm, uh huh, I can see you’re very mature

«I'm a virgin» ha, yeah sure

She back it up and I love it, I be dusting the duchess

Shimmy, shake, shiver- Leg go numb when it touches

Stuffing chicks, thunderous- Honey never have enough of this

Fuck a Succubus, call me the Bussanuffuluffagus

Every single chick that I hit, mid-grade

Give 'em dick, send ‘em off with a kiss and a mixtape

«Shit nate, you so sick, this shit’s great

At this rate, you’ll stick every skin in the twin states»

All the whores in the place, put the floor on your face

With your hams in my hands, get your orifice glazed

That’s a double entendre- Double-bag bomber

Double-duty bubble-bath- Bubble-booty on her

Ohhh yeeuhhhh, and it sounds so sick

In Jarv’s bed is where they found your chick

She’s a decent woman, at least that’s what she said

But she’s pretty freaking indecent when she is in the bed

Yes bitch, add another ex to the checklist

Mama swear to god I operate a bed and breakfast

What can I say, a player’s gotta play

Baby, whatcha doin later today?

Hmm?

Skanky chicks in lacey linens

Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)

Lonely women make sandwiches (for me)

(C'mon dude)

Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)

MATURE JARV: Yo are you fucking kidding me, man?

IMMATURE JARV: What?

MATURE JARV: What do you mean what?

Dude, what is this bullshit?

IMMATURE JARV: Dude, I’m just joking around

MATURE JARV: Yeah, we get it, man- You think you’re super funny

IMMATURE JARV: Dude, come on

MATURE JARV: Honestly, bro- You need to grow up, like, how would you feel if Ms.

Kelly heard this shit

IMMATURE JARV: I dunno, I mean- I hope she doesn’t but like-

MATURE JARV: You’re not funny, you’re not cool, fucking get your shit together

and quit acting like you’re thirteen years old, okay?

Seriously, grow up

IMMATURE JARV: Okay, I’m sorry, damn