Minority Language - George Carlin

Now listen, long as we’re discussing minorities, I’d like to mention something about language.

There are a couple of terms being used a lot these days by guilty white liberals.

First one is “happens to be”… “He happens to be black.

I have a friend who happens to be black.”

Like it’s a fucking accident you know?

Happens to be black?

“Yes, he happens to be black.”

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he had two black parents?

“Oh yes, yes he did.

Yes, that’s right.”

Right, and they fucked?

“Oh indeed they did… indeed they did.”

So where does the surprise part come in?

I should think it would be more unusual if he just happened to be Scandinavian!

And the other term is “openly.”

“Openly gay.”

They say “he’s openly gay.”

But that’s the only minority they use that for.

You know, you wouldn’t say someone was “openly black.”

… well maybe James Brown… or Louis Farrakhan;

Louis Farrakhan is openly black.

Colin Powell is not openly black, Colin Powell is openly white;

he just happens to be black.

And while we’re at it, when did the word “urban” become synonymous with the word “black”?

Did I fall asleep for 8 or 9 years?

Urban styles, urban trends, urban music, I was not consulted on this at all, didn't get an email, didn't get a fax, didn't get a fucking postcard, fine, let them go and I don't

think white women should be calling each other “girlfriend” okay?

Stop pretending to be black!

And no matter what color you are, “you go, girl” should probably go!

Right along with “you da man” “Hey, you da man!”

Oh yeah?

Well you da fucking honky!