In a Coma - George Carlin

You know what would be great for a guy like me?

Just to be in a coma.

Huh?

Wouldn’t that be great?

Nothing to do all day.

You just crap out and breathe through a fucking tube.

They feed you through a tube.

There’s nothing to do.

Whoa, you talk about being a couch potato, that’s it man.

No phone calls coming in. Nobody dropping by unexpectedly.

And if they do drop by, you’re completely unaware of it because you’re in a fucking coma, and you’re practically clinically dead.

And you don’t have to listen to their stupid shit.

Their stupid shit like about their new ride-around lawnmower with the two-tone horn and the GPS in case they get lost on the lawn.

And their boss and their job and their car and their kids.