Setting the Scene - Funky DL

Let me tell you a story, cos it’s a good one

It’s all about this woman I met, she was a Hoodlum

Gangster, Bandit, she set me up and planned it

And all because of her, my life was drowning in a sandpit

Met her at an art gallery, began to chit-chat

She was kinda interesting, so we went to kick it a bar close by

Got to drinking Patrón

So got twisted to the point where she would follow me home

Yo', the morning after, laid in bed for half an hour

Took a cold shower, washing her stench then took a towel

Dried myself down, devoured some eggs and pancakes

She ate bran flakes, tying her hair, the band breaks

Departed with handshakes instead of kisses

She stated «this was simply business, I’m not your mistress

Your Mrs, this ain’t Christmas, don’t it twisted

I’m from a school of bad bitches

Can get you blistered and feed your body to the fishes»

She wrote a number on the back of some Rizlas

«what is this?», she said «a college kid they call the wizard

Call him and pay visit and beware of all his lizards

He gone tell you bout' religion and the time he spent in

Prison, he talks a lot, but listen till he finish

Then take this envelope and when you get there only give him

Twenty grand from inside, he’s gonna count there’s nothing missing

Then meet me at the 'Chung Ho' kitchens and mind the pigeons»

Arrived at The Wizards, the door was already open

He was choking on a mouth-gag, his nose was broken

His clothes was soaked in petroleum, suffering pandemonium

I untied him quickly, asked him what the hell was going on?

He said he owed some money to some cold-hearted loan-sharks

And gotta pay them back within a week, or get some broke arms

Then asked me, «where the money at?»

Pulled out the brown bag

Removed about half and gave this dude his twenty grand

Then he said he need the rest, I wasn’t down with that

So he started raising his voice, «yo' who you shouting at?

You may be crazy, but you ain’t gone get my paper»

He made a sudden move, that’s when he fired off his Taser

Which hit me in the blazer and I fell face down

I’m trying to get up, he kicked me and kept yelling «stay down»

And all I’m thinking is W.T.F., now ain’t this some BS?

I can’t speak, he tased me, I’m speechless

I wake up in the back of a squad car, handcuffs

Officer to my left, overweight, dandruff

Bad breath, wedding ring, thinking who would marry that?

Fifteen minutes looking out the window

Now we at the precinct, fingerprints, mug shot, phone call

Put the money in the slot and leaned myself against the wall

5−5-5-, called the Chung Ho Chinese

She came on the line, I asked her straight ,"why me?"

She laughed, and said she need a scapegoat

Someone she could manipulate to handle them fake notes

Cos' she was being staked by the counterfeit cops

She got a tip about a bust and so she set me up

She said don’t take it personal, I hope the judge is merciful

But you gone do some time, I hope you know that’s irreversible

My money ran out, my phone time was up

I placed the receiver down and then my cell door shut