The Rewards Of A Career In Music - Frank Zappa

Bunk:

I’d like to tell you about the first time I went down to take some piano

lessons from the lady on the corner—her name was Elmira Snodgrass.

That was really her name

I was seven years old and my mother took me down, introduced me.

She got her little book of stars out, you know, you get a BLUE STAR if you

play your lesson with no mistakes.

And she— Oh, she was really into it

So the first week I went down there, uh, it really didn’t mean so much to me

but I thought her name was so funny that I had to keep commenting on it

And uh, she said uh, «Johnny, you’re gonna have to straighten up a little there

if we’re gonna get along.»

So uh, I think I got a Red Elephant that week.

I didn’t do too well

So uh, I straightened up next week and uh—I forget what the tune was,

but I tore it up.

No mistakes at all.

But uh, my posture was very poor.

I had very poor posture so, uh, that week I got uh—I think it was a Blue Horse.

And uh, she said I was doing much better

Nice!

So by the time the third week—I had started to practice by then,

I was getting serious and I. .

Roy:

Buns

Bunk:

I went back for my lesson and she said, uh, «I hope you get a Blue Star this

weekend, Johnny.»

So I played my lesson and uh, I got my Blue Star and uh,

she said, «You'll have to do better than that when .»

Roy:

I always wondered what made you sleepy.

I thought it was buns.

I don’t know.

Hamburgers, cheese.

Buns.

I think it’s probably the buns.

I thought it was the

cheese at one time, I don’t know.

Weasely cheese.

Could have been the pickles

or something—buns.

It had to be the buns

Bunk:

She said, «.»

So I started bringing in four books

Motorhead:

So I said

Roy:

Buns!

Round buns, long buns.

I don’t know, hot dog buns, or something.

It must have been.

No, it had to be the buns, I guess.

I don’t know.

It could be the mustard.

But then again.

.

Bunk: And she said, «John, I don’t think there’s any more that I can teach you.

«So I started taking lessons from her son, whose name was Freddie Snodgrass.

He’s a pretty good piano player, by the way.

Motorhead:

Roy:

Buns!

That’s all I can see.

BUNS!

BUNS!

Bunk:

I’d like to play jazz.

You couldn’t get very serious.

I told her I wanted to

play jazz.

So she said, «Take that jazz and stick it under a rock!

«So I had to forget about jazz.

So I jumped into the classics.

My first tune

was, uh, Beethoven’s.

.