Complimentary Muffin - Flight Of The Conchords

So, as well as our doing

A collection of songs tonight

We’re gonna tell you some of our--

Our rock and roll anecdotes

Give you a sort of a

Behind-the-scenes look

At, uh, you know

The life of the band

You know, some pretty

Funny experiences that we’ve had

-some pretty crazy ones as well

-Yeah

And I think one that encompasses

Both those, um, subsets…

I don’t know

I don’t think «subsets»

Is a very rock and roll

Way of describing it

That’s what

We’re talking about, the fun…

The fun rock and roll subset

Um…

Uh, the story--

The story that Jemaine

Is talking about

-I think, is the muffin story

-Oh, yes!

Yeah.

Um, this is

A story of, um…

The time when I got

To my hotel room--

Oh, no, sorry.

Let me give

A bit of context

Wait.

Hold on

Everyone listen to Bret

Okay

Okay, so

First of all, being in a band

We stay in hotels

'Cause we tour around

-We stay in some quite fancy hotels

-Oh, yes

We’ve stayed in some Premiere Inns

Yeah, absolutely

And we’ve stayed in some of the

Very Best Westerns out there

And I got to my room

And there was a complimentary

Muffin sitting on the table

Okay, this is where the fun--

You guys obviously don’t stay in these

Fancy hotels

-'cause this is very unusual

-Some of you are a few steps ahead

You’re like, okay, this is

Where the fun’s beginning

-Yeah

-Yep

So, I thought, okay, if I’ve

Got a complimentary muffin

I bet old Mad Dog’s got

A complimentary muffin

That’s my nickname

I’ll tell you about that later

But tell them the joke about

The complimentary muffin

Okay, yeah, sure.

Okay, so

The complimentary muffin, now

It’s not a muffin that says, «Oh

Hello, Bret, you look good today.»

It’s a complimentary muffin

-But…

-Yeah

Imagine that though

Imagine that

-That's ridiculous

-It's such a fun…

A very flattering pastry

Little blueberry eyes

You know, just looking up at you

Going…

-Absolutely adorable

-I'd eat that

It’s just looking up at you, going

«Well, you’ve got a nice personality

Little muffin

That’s just a little

Digression we add in to--

Yeah, we just, like, spice up

The story with a bit of humor

Yeah.

Um…

It wasn’t something that

Occurred to us at the time

And so, I thought if I’ve got

A complimentary muffin

I bet Mad Dog here’s got one, and…

Right.

You’re probably wondering

Why I get called «Mad Dog.»

This is a

Nickname that caught on

When Jemaine e-mailed me with

The subject «New Nickname.»

I’m not sure if

That’s the start of it

I’m sure it was a series of events

No, well, it was

A series of e-mails

It was-- Yeah.

Three or

Four e-mails reminding me

And then, eventually, it caught

On, and now, I’ve got it up here

It’s not important to the story

About how I got the name

I’ve got a reputation, and they

Call me Mad Dog, within the band

And so, I thought--

I called his room, and I’d

Only been in the room

Maybe like, two or three minutes

You know, me and my muffin

And I call up Jemaine’s room

I mean, Mad Dog, and, um…

-Thank you

-He answers the phone

«Hello?»

He’s already bloody halfway

Through that muffin

Yeah

Bloody Keith Richards over here

God

I didn’t-- I didn’t even wait

As soon as I saw it, rawr!

What’d you do?

Just walk in there like

«Rawr, give me that

I’ll do that!»

Bloody…

Yeah, basically

That’s pretty much it

He wasn’t even there

And he guessed it

-because I’m a mad dog

-And…

You start to get a picture of the

Life of excess that we live

For you to know

It’s a life of excess

You need to also know that

We had muffins for breakfast

That’s right, yeah

So that’s bloody two muffins

In one day.

Oh!

-Double muffiner

-Oh, God

-Yeah

-Yeah

And so, we collect these

Stories as we travel 'round

You never know when something

Crazy’s gonna happen

Yeah!

That one was about seven years ago

It was