Bus Driver - Flight Of The Conchords

Can we get some lighting that evokes, a kind of, uh, unrequited love sentiment,

please?

That’s great.

G’day, my name’s Tony.

On behalf of myself and the coachline I’d like to thank

you for choosing to drive with us today.

If you got any question,

don’t hesitate just to sing out.

If you look out to the right there you’ll see

the bronze of Bluey;

a local sheepdog who became a member of Regional Council.

It was a bloody great day for dogs.

To your left there you’ll see- uh,

you’ll see the local town wanker, John Thompson.

G’day John!

Bloody wanker… hahahaha.

Nah he’s alright.

The town hall

Another mosaic wall

Well there are 5,600 tiles on that wall

I know, I counted them all

A local school

A local swimming pool

That was opened by the Governor General

Back in 1952

Well I was caught with a friend aged 11

Sniffing tractor fuel

We thought we were pretty cool

Breaking them changing shed rules

But do you see up there?

The banner hanging in the air?

That’s the Presbyterian Fair

Well, I never go

There’s too many Presbyterians there

But if you’re interested

The fair’s in the third weekend

Of August every year

But don’t bother entering the raffle

It’s always won by some kid of the Mayor

Look to your left, what a beautiful sight

It’s Paula, Paula Thompson, née Paula Wright

Look at her hair, it’s still gorgeous, even now

Flowing like the Womahonga River

Which incidentally is to your right

And it’s the largest in the area

In terms of volume

Everybody, look at Paula, look at Paula Thompson

I always thought I’d marry Paula

But some things just don’t work out that way

Well, that’s the most important thing

You’ll learn on the tour today

That, and the fact there’ll be a toilet break

At the information center near the manmade lake

Come on!

I’ll just ask you one favor, if you do see Paula in town later on I’d

appreciate if you didn’t mention the details of my tour.

Same goes for my wife,

Gloria.

You’ll recognize her 'cause she looks a hell of a lot like Paula.

She often gets mistaken for Paula, but, um, well, she’s not Paula,

that’s for sure.

Paula Thompson, born in '54

To a family of four

To the family next door

Take me back next door

Paula Thompson, née Paula Wright

That’s her old house, number 39

Number 41 was mine

If this old coach could go back in time

I’d drive to 1979

Take me back…

Take me back, take me back

(Take, take, take, take me back)

Take me back, take me back

(Take, take, take, take me back)

Take me back, take me back

Come on, take me back

Oh take me back, please take me back

Take me back

Sorry about that.

Sorry about that.

Got a little carried away there.

It’s a very emotion intersection for me.

Took a wrong turn there,

about 29 years ago.

But that’s the end of the tour so… enjoy your stay,

mind your step, and, uh, good on ya.