Moishe the Kid - Eric Schwartz

Not long ago on one fine day in Flushing, Queens

The month was May

A day with more than normal count of smog

The word went out to stay inside, from Tel Aviv to Telluride

'Cause Moishe the Kid was leashin' up his dog

Well he’s a quiet man who loves his mutts

He loves 'em so he drives 'em nuts

He’s caring and he’s giving to a fault

But just watch out where you park your car

You just might end up at the bar

And laying down a lawsuit for assault

Well oy vey and a yippie tiay and you might say his hair is grey but I’m telling

You he’s got shtetl dust in his blood

Well baruch-hu and a yippie tiyou I’m telling you he’s an ornery Jew who knocks

'em flat and chugs himself a bud

Well on that day he hit the drive, you saw his eyes just come alive,

His jaw 'bout

Nearly almost hit the floor

'Cause he could tell just by the tread, sides of green, top of red

This stagecoach was the Chevy from next door

He sidled over to the guy and let out with a pitied sigh

And punched him 'til the joik was walking blind

And as Fido fertilized the flowers, mechanics had to work for hours

Cause just one punch and his wheels were misaligned

Well oy vey and a yippie tiay and you might say his hair is grey but I’m telling

You he’s got shtetl dust in his blood

Well baruch-hu and a yippie tiyou I’m telling you he’s an ornery Jew Who knocks

'em flat and chugs himself a bud

Well, Moishe the Kid just tarried there

With his neighbor in intensive care

As a seven forty-seven crossed the moon

He stopped to savor the midnight smog

And whistled out to his trusty dog

And stepped back into his very own saloon

Now if you want to try you hand, and be the baddest in the land

Don’t say I didn’t warn you, 'cause I did

And remember, please that fateful day

When the sorry soul got towed away

For parkin' in the path of Moishe the Kid

Well oy vey and a yippie tiay and you might say his hair is grey but I’m telling

You he’s got shtetl dust in his blood

Well baruch-hu and a yippie tiyou I’m telling you he’s an ornery Jew Who knocks

'em flat and chugs himself a bud