Psycho Ballet - Eric Schwartz

Lately you languish

And angstful, you anguish

For something to sweeten your day-to-day tea

Your examine existence is rife with resistance

You rot on the spot like forgotten kimchi

So in an attempt to become un-vaclempt

You are seeking diversion to lighten your day

Well, when you’re in New York

There’s nothing a few dorks won’t do

To renew

Your amused point of view

When you’re viewing the psycho ballet

If your mind is as messy

As old Herman Hessey

And you don’t have the dough for a concert or play

Just come meet me there down in Washington Square

And we’ll take in the psycho ballet, ballet

We’ll take in the psycho ballet

We’ll sit ourselves down on a nice afternoon

I’ll point out performers and let you lampoon

There sure ain’t no dearth of galoots on this earth

But there’s some here that hail from the moon

Like the nuthouse-kateers and the brown-baggied beers

Drunk by drunks who have drunk here for 25 years

The comatose stoned boys and hip-hoppin' homeboys

With blasters abusing our ears

There’s a pan-handling prophet

Who swears he’s been off it

Since early last year or perchance yesterday

Yes, the bullshit will fly and you’ll laugh ‘til you’re cryin'

When spyin' the psycho ballet, ballet

When spyin' the psycho ballet

And now pervert observing would not be complete

Without finding something disgusting to eat

The stonerkabob is a constant surprise

But McDougall’s too far and right before your eyes

You’ve got knishes of cardboard

And pretzels of paste

That the Jersey boys barf when they’re face-down and faced

But if that’s insufficient, there’s peddlers proficient

In ways of enhancing the taste

No, there won’t be no ushers

But plenty of pushers

To service your every weed, every day

Though the bar isn’t open

It’s dope to be dopin'

When scopin' the psycho ballet, ballet

When scopin' the psycho ballet

Ganja, ganja

Smoke, smoke

Ganja, ganja

Smoke, smoke

Ganja, ganja

Smoke, smoke

Ganja, ganja

Well

You’ve got bell-bottomed beauties

In swell-bottomed splendor

And frat boys who’ve blown it for the rest of their gender

Tickertape traitors who blew it on blow

And resemble Garcia without all his dough

You’ve got camcording tourists

And Jesus freak jurists

And pud-pounding purists on pisshouse patrol

Mohawked marauders and brain-dead skateboarders

Who don’t seem to mind running straight into poles

Well, there’ll always be accolades

For spandex on rollerblades

And losers in Lennon shades with nothing to say

There’s no need to go formal

A T-shirt is normal

When viewing the psycho ballet, ballet

When viewing the psycho ballet

Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats, the show ain’t over yet!

You’ve got guys who’ll set fire to themselves for a quarter

And girls who unshod would be eight inches shorter

Bozos on benches who bobble their boners

And bimbo, babe bowzers who act like their owners

Egos who masturbate with their guitars

And seduce teeny-boppers convinced that they’re stars

But when the girlies are gone, they are just as alone

And neurotic as they were before

Ain’t your surest chagrin

The asylum you’re in

Is gonna start to make sense in the scariest way

And when the bizarre’uns

Have ceased to seem foreign

You’ll star in the psycho ballet, ballet

You’ll star in the psycho ballet