Stroking a Cat - Dan Bull

This is not a subject many are approaching in rap

Among the showboating and boasts, I know I’m so full of crap

But I won’t be complete without penning an ode to the fact

That I feel most at home stroking a cat

I feel his paws on my shoulder so I turn and I’m poking him back

He kneads my knees and I know he’s cozy

The chap’s hoping to doze in my lap

It’s fairly safe to say I’m open to that

Because I’m most at home stroking a cat

Jimmy

I’m stroking a cat

Sammy

See him doze in my lap

Patty

There’s few feelings closer than that

I’m at home when I’m stroking a cat

Behind the ears, now under the chin

Tickle the tummy, and feel the fluff on your skin

I had a cold heart, but that frost was going to melt

Because your fine fluffy fur was the softest thing I’ve felt

Put me in contact with my lost and inner self

But gosh, your droppings are the most obnoxious thing I’ve smelt

If Jay Z had a baby with a crazy cat lady

Their DNA would mutate to make me

It may be crazy that I cradle cats in place of babies

But you wouldn’t make me change my behaviour if you paid me

Maybe it’s love, perhaps it’s toxoplasmosis

Honestly, I’m kind of shocked that I wrote this

I’m too far gone, I’m lost and I’m hopeless

Put a poster on the lamp post for me, and hope someone will notice

Jimmy

I’m stroking a cat

Sammy

See him doze in my lap

Patty

There’s few feelings closer than that

I’m at home when I’m stroking a cat

Behind the ears, now under the chin

Tickle the tummy, and feel the fluff on your skin

I try not to treat you anthropormorphically

But damn, if you could talk to me

That’d be awesome, see

I need to reassure you that I’ll always be here for you

Though we are mere mortal beings

I would run a mile for every single minute that I fear for you

I’m no loyalist but to me you are the real royal

Developed and bred up as a vicious predator

I found it tricky to picture, 'til you ripped that stick of feathers up

You’re like a teddy bear, but sentient with agency

That’s why I savour the sentiment you’d deign to play with me

The wide world is dangerous;

home’s a haven, sweet

And if you need love enough, I’m sure we have a vacancy

Jimmy

I’m stroking a cat

Sammy

See him doze in my lap

Patty

There’s few feelings closer than that

I’m at home when I’m stroking a cat

Behind the ears, now under the chin

Tickle the tummy, and feel the fluff on your skin

Aside from mewling, I’ll never get to hear you speak

But we communicate in other ways, enough to know you’re unique

The pet sanctuary was a feline Who’s Who

Perusing kittens like I was trying on a new shoe

I wonder what the factor was that made me choose you

Don’t know, perhaps you chose me, and I just knew too

You had a true cuteness I never grew used to

It rips my heart apart knowing that soon I’ll lose you

I don’t want to lose you

I love you