The Physician - Cole Porter

Once I loved such a shattering physician

Quite the best looking doctor in the state

He looked after my physical condition

And his bedside manner was great!

When I’d gaze up and see him there above me

Looking less like a doctor than a Turk

I was tempted to whisper, «Do you love me

Or do you merely love your work?»

He said my bronchial tubes were entrancing

My epiglottis filled him with glee

He simply loved my larynx

And went wild about my pharynx

But he never said he loved me

He said my epidermis was darling

And found my blood as blue as can be

He went through wild ecstatics

About my lymphatics

But he never said he loved me

And though, no doubt, it was not very smart of me

I get on a-wracking of my soul

To figure out why he loved every part of me

And yet not me as a whole

By my esophagus he was ravished

Enthusiastic to a degree

He said 'twas just enormous

My appendix vermiformis

But he never said he loved me

He said my cerebellum was brilliant

And my cererum far from N G

I know he thought a lotta

My medulla oblogota

But he never said he loved me

He said my maxillaries were marvels

And found my sternum stunning to see

He did a double hurdle

When I shook my pelvic girdle

But he never said he loved me

He seemed amused

When he first made a test of me

To further his medical art;

Yet he refused

When he’s fixed up the rest of me

To cure that ache in my heart

I know he thought my pancreas perfect

And for my spleen was keen as can be

He said, of all his sweeties

I’d the sweetest diabetes

But he never said he loved me