Daca eram... - Cheloo

Rizi ca flegma la TBC

Si ca ciorba la lautarul pe moarte

Da… daaa…

Hai cu mata

Daca eram politist nu-mi asumam nici un risc

Infractorii cotizau la mine ca la fisc

Daca eram pompier ardea-i ca sobolanu-n casa

Si tu si ma-ta si zdreanta ta libidinoasa

Daca eram ginecolog cu sticla-n bot te consultam, de frica

E sanatos sa dai la buci, in gereral, nu strica

Daca eram popa eram periculos

Frecam enoriasele matol si sus si jos

Daca eram chirurg uitam in tine

Cesul meu cu cuc, patentul si-un cutit de piine

Daca eram un posesor de diamante, frate

Faceam o geamgerie si taiam doar geamuri sparte

Daca eram de bani gata, nu mai eram in viata

Va zimbeam expus la morga conservat in gheata

Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate

Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate

Astept oferte si remuneratie

Momentan sint fara ocupatie

Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate

Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate

Astept oferte si remuneratie

Momentan sint fara ocupatie

Daca eram un canibal, iar tu erai doar o urita

Te luam la pula-n tufa, baga-ne-am pula-n ea de supa

Daca eram postas fugeam la dealer in oras

Cind tu mureai de foame, eu fumam iarba si hash

Daca eram gropar te ingropam, normal, odata

Apoi te profanam preluind bijuteria preferata

Daca eram farmacist si cumparai calmante

Te-nbirligam sa bagi in tine anabolizante

Daca eram vidanjor teleportam cicat cu presiune

Calamitind, eventual, intreaga lume

Daca eram ospatar si te prindeam la masa, in cicat

La felul doi serveai, stilat, flegme separat

Daca eram sofer te-aveam ca victima-n cazier

Baga-mi-ai pula-n mata, m-ai fi lasat somer

Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate

Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate

Astept oferte si remuneratie

Momentan sint fara ocupatie

Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate

Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate

Astept oferte si remuneratie

Momentan sint fara ocupatie

Daca eram un hot, sa fiu cinstit

Eram rapid si te lasam in pula goala fara sa simti nimic

Daca eram aviator si ramineam fara motor

Iti luam din zbor parasuta, pula mea, doar n-o sa mor

Daca eram invatator la 1−4, saracu

Copilul tau fuma si bea de-i sarea capu

Daca eram navigator plecam pe mari fara onor

Si ma-ntorceam blindat de bani fara vapor

Daca eram labar ereditar munceam la CNA

Si ma sinucideam cu ritual pe piesa asta

Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate

Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate

Astept oferte si remuneratie

Momentan sint fara ocupatie

Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate

Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate

Astept oferte si remuneratie

Momentan sint fara ocupatie

You laugh like phlegm at TB

And like a dead fiddler's soup

Da… daaa

Come on, mate

If I was a cop, I wouldn't take any risks

Criminals paid me as tax

If I was a firefighter, I would burn them like a rat in the house

And you and me and your lustful rag

If I was a gynecologist with a bottle in my mouth, I would consult you out of fear

It's healthy to break into pieces, in general, it doesn't hurt

If I was a priest, I would be dangerous

We rub the matol parishioners both up and down

If I were a surgeon, I'd look at you

My cuckoo's nest, the patent and a bread knife

If I were a diamond owner, brother

I made a glass and cut only broken windows

If I had money ready, I wouldn't be alive

I was smiling at you exposed to the morgue preserved in the ice

There are so many beautiful trades to try

Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything

I am waiting for offers and remuneration

I am currently unemployed

There are so many beautiful trades to try

Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything

I am waiting for offers and remuneration

I am currently unemployed

If I were a cannibal, and you were just ugly

We'll fuck you in the bush, we'll fuck you in the soup

If I was posted, I would run to the dealer in town

When you were starving, I smoked weed and hash

If I was a gravedigger, I would bury you, normally, once

Then we desecrate you by taking your favorite jewelry

If I was a pharmacist and you bought painkillers

We urge you to take anabolic steroids

If I was a vacuum cleaner, I would teleport with pressure

Eventually calamitizing the whole world

If I was a waiter and I caught you at the table, in a hurry

In two ways you served, styled, phlegm separately

If I were a driver, I'd have you as a victim in the criminal record

You'd put my dick in the mat, you'd have left me unemployed

There are so many beautiful trades to try

Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything

I am waiting for offers and remuneration

I am currently unemployed

There are so many beautiful trades to try

Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything

I am waiting for offers and remuneration

I am currently unemployed

If I were a thief, let me be honest

I was fast and I leave you naked without feeling anything

If I were an aviator and I was left without an engine

We're taking your parachute off, my dick, I'm just not going to die

If I was a teacher at 1-4, poor thing

Your child smokes and drinks salt from his head

If I was a navigator I would go to sea without honor

And I was returning armored with money without a ship

If I was a hereditary worker, I would work at CNA

And I was committing suicide with ritual on this song

There are so many beautiful trades to try

Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything

I am waiting for offers and remuneration

I am currently unemployed

There are so many beautiful trades to try

Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything

I am waiting for offers and remuneration

I am currently unemployed