Dissociative - Before I Turn

Free me from the dark in my head

'Cause it’s preventing me from seeing red

I can’t tell who I am anymore

Somebody tell me 'cause I’m not so sure

Emptiness is the victim of pain

Killing me loudly like the sorrow and pain

I’m feeling darkness, I’m feeling death

I taste the blood from our last kiss on my breath

Was it the pain in my eyes

That lead me to this misery?

Was it the look of your death

From your head down to your feet?

Or was it something I did

That made me regret the life that I’ve lived?

And tell me, please, do you hate me too?

Do you hate me for the things that I do?

I see a face in the distance, of who I’m trying to be

It was the lust of a vixen that took control over me

And now I feel all the blackness, it washes all over me

See the light in the darkness, of who I’m not supposed to be

Fuck

Thank you, mother, for the pain that you inflicted

For hiding all my sanity and making me a victim

I’ve tried it all before but it doesn’t seem to help

The fact that I’m alone makes me hate my fucking self

I see a face in the distance, of who I’m trying to be

It was the lust of a vixen that took control over me

And now I feel all the blackness, it washes all over me

See the light in the darkness, of who I’m not supposed to

How could she let me bear this fucking disease?

How could she be so suffocating?

I feel her presence, it lingers within

It dwells inside me, closer than I’ve ever been

«My mind cannot even begin to fathom the abhorrent information

That was disclosed this dreadful night

My lover is not my lover and therefore I am not myself

My sanity is elsewhere, my hope is failing

And the trust of my own kin is non-existent

Why I was not debriefed on this deception

Is beyond my wildest imagination

I throw myself to the mercy of fate

Live or die, it is no longer my choice»