Unfair - Andrew Lloyd Webber

Well give it back right now before I give your neck a twist

You stole my dress

Well, yes that’s true

But it looks good on me and not you

This necklace is divine

It’s real and you are counterfeit

That necklace should be mine, your throat is much too fat for it

You are a cow

You take that back

Or I am giving you such a smack!

It’s so unfair

I don’t have a thing to wear

Unfair and cruel

Life’s an imitation jewel

I’m in despair

Why should I care

To leave this chair

Or get off my derriere

Cindrella!

I need your help right now, this gown cannot unzip itself

And god knows your moustach can’t bleach your upper lip itself

Go shine our shoes

Two hundred pair

How can it be that life’s so unfair?

Unfair, unjust I must lie down for a while

Unfair, the strain and pain to remain in style

I’m fair, so fair, folks stop and stare

Unfair, I swear it’s a mighty cross to bear

This life is so unfair

One daughter who’s an imbecile, another half as bright

Not my idea, must be God’s will

And then there’s you just what I need

A thankless gift I must clothe and feed

Unfair, untoward distress I can ill afford

You are so lame at least I know who to blame

Just scrape and serve like I deserve

It’s such a shame you are working my last nerve

Disgraceful, let’s face it, it’s you, Cinderella

You don’t know your place and you never come through

You’re lazy and brazen, it’s true, Cinderella

A lot like your father, you’re bothersome, too

You’re feckless and worthless and dull, Cinderella

That we lost the prize is completely your fault

And open your eyes, take a look in the mirror

You’ve no sense of fashion, a visual assault

Be mindful, my kindness, though ample, is finite

I could change my mind in the blink of a lash

Get out of my sight or tonight may be my night

To show you the street when you throw out the trash

Pick up this place at once

Don’t stand there like a speechless dunce

Lord, I don’t ask a lot

Go dump and scrub my chamber pot

Then do the floors, get on all fours

Until they sparkle without a spot

Then dust the sills and doors

Refill the grout, I want no cracks

You must complete your chores

I’m due for my bikini wax

Where’s my massage?

I have a knot

Spit shine my boots

Touch up my roots

Just know your place

And shut your face

'Cause you’re our servant, like it or not