Calling It Quits - Aimee Mann

Hes a serious mister

Shake his hand and hell twist your arm

With monopoly money

Well be buying the funny farm

So Ill do flips,

And get paid in chips

From a diamond as big as the ritz--

Then Im calling it quits

Eyes the color of candy

Lies to cover the handicap

Though your slippers are ruby

Youll be led to the booby trap

And theres no prize,

Just a smaller size

So Im wearing the shoe til it fits--

Then Im calling it quits

Now hes numbering himself among the masterminds

Cause hes hit upon the leverage of valentines

Lifting dialogue from judy garland storylines

Where get-tough girls turn into goldmines

But oh, those polaroid babies

Taking chances with rabies

Happy to tear me to bits--

Well, Im calling it quits

Yes, Im calling it quits.