Houston, We Have A Problem (Shaving off my muff for you) - Eric Schwartz

Your birthday is coming

Dont worry, Im aware

Ive been trying to find you something

Just to show how much I care

But I just couldn’t tell

'Til I bought that Mademoiselle

Now I know just what Im gonna do

Now Im shavin' off my muff for you

'cause lately when you love me

You’ve seemed a little cross

And then after, when you’re brushing

You refuse the dental floss

Even when it was mint

But I can take a hint

Now the only question’s one blade or two

When Im shavin' off my muff for you

My friends keep axin' «girl, havent you tried waxin?»

Or that depilatory cream

My ex-friend Katie lent me her Epilady

And I found out how loud I could screeeeeeeemmmm

Now there’s gonna be stubble

But darlin', duty calls

So get down there on the double

If you want to keep your balls

'cause I scraped and I scratched

Even had to pluck a patch

'cause even my Mach Three wouldn’t do

When Im shavin' off my muff

Shavin' off my muff

Shavin off my muff for you

(«Self Bootleg» BONUS VERSE)

No other woman is gonna shave as close

Now my little box of funk

Looks like a Buddhist Monk

And not like no Chasidic Jew

Now that Im shavin off my muff

Shavin' off my muff

Shavin off my muff for you