By Myself - Zerk

My eyes are open, but am I actually awake?

Am I dreamin' or seein' people,

imagine that it’s fake

I be tossin' and turnin' feel like I’m trapped on the ceiling I’m fightin'

battlin' demons, wakin' up to scratches on my face

Think I’m starting to feel it burn, from the pastor when he prays,

now my arms have been reaching further, they have to be detained

Now my heart isn’t beatin' hurry, my arteries leakin' worse and the doctor be

thinkin' surgery has to be the way

I be making a lot of profits, taking a lot of losses.

Living whre they kill 'em

veryday when they try to walk

I’m lookin' out the window while they breaking inside of cars, and layin' 'em

down across the brains and the body parts

This ain’t a game don’t be playin' them kind of cards, U never gon' be winnin'

when U playin' the final boss

And that don’t even matter when U say that U got a squad, I’ll be the reason

y’all’ll get acquainted with body guards

I be looking for the fame and it’s kinda hard, I drink until I dissolve the

pain of a hollow heart

Beefin' wit me kinda like a steak to a carnivore, been rappin' to myself like I

was saying a monologue

Cuz there ain’t nobody around me, I keep the shotty around me if you come outta

your house they bury U by tomorrow

Keeping my distance and I don’t leave or do anything it’s just me in my bedroom

with just a blanket that’s on the floor

I’m sick of the scenery, sick of it being me.

I got everyone leaving me ain’t

no friends I don’t need any

I’m diggin' through memories of the kids who were mean to me who continue to

beat me down and then kick me repeatedly

Who left me to bleed I still feel the pins and the needles deep now I sit with

the beat and feed this addiction that’s eating me

While the pendulum swingin' watch every minute decreasin' I start to wonder how

everyone dealing with it so easily

All of these nightmares they turn into daydreams

And I try to fight fair but can’t seem to break free

And nothing can help, stuck in my shell

And that’s why I’m By Myself

By Myself (4x)

And now I’m risin' just so I can get where I’m going I’m steady climbin'

Spent so many years tryna break through the barriers while they asking me how

isn’t you blowing up with the rhyming

Well I just stuck with the wrong people I didn’t really need, up in Flint and

just growing up with the violence

And I would just sit in the corner covering my face with the hoodie breathing

the cigarette smoke up in the environment

Everybody said to pick a different road, it’s a slippery slope and it’s really

frightenin'

I was talkin' to people I didn’t even really know just to get through the

moments I needed guidance

And I noticed I should probably really just handle it on my own after ventin'

and talkin' with a psychiatrist

And since I been sitting at home and I just been hidin' my mind has been

diggin' up so many little diamonds

This is for the outsiders who be down hidin' with nobody there for 'em but the

drugs and liquor (that's me)

This is for the ones that never outside who just sitting in the dark waiting

for the sun to hit ya (yeah yeah)

The ones that sat at the empty table at lunch and they wondering why nobody

ever runnin' wit ya

They just point and laugh at U to deal with the fact that they know on every

level that ain’t gon' be fuckin' wit ya

Since I was a child it’s been a goal that I’m reachin', back when I was trying

to get em all to believe me

Back when I was 9 with a laboratory set up in the bedroom with the vials and

chemicals and the beakers

Like I’m trying to get up off of these bleachers and start to wonder why it’s

so difficult to achieve this

Because I don’t fit in with no one I’m independent and lonely on every night I

spend alone every evenin' thinkin'

All of these nightmares they turn into daydreams

And I try to fight fair but can’t seem to break free

And nothing can help, stuck in my shell

And that’s why I’m By Myself

By Myself (4x)