Ouncare - Zach Sherwin

No one raps anymore like they did in 1998, when a song went to number 24 on the

billboard chart list

Still Not A Player was the title, and Big Punisher was the artist

I’m not sure if you remember it much or not

But if you know the chorus, show me what’cha got

«I don’t wanna be a player no more»

«I'm not a player I just crush a lot»

Now, half way through the song’s duration, Pun and a woman have a conversation,

he says to her

«I can go downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere»

Ya know, grooming standards were different in the nineties

But she says, «you nasty»

And his reply you ask me?

Well, he says, «Ouncare,» not I don’t care, but a rhyme for downstairs and

brown hairs

Ouncare

Which doesn’t really work

Ouncare

I mean, «oun» is not a word

Ouncare

It’s like you can’t take the words «I don’t» and rhyme them with brown and down

Ouncare

That defies all conventions

Ouncare

It’s downright unorthodox

Ouncare

Big Pun, you’re not afraid to break the rules, and frankly, I’m inspired

Galileo said we orbit the sun, not the reverse

David killed Goliath despite his height and girth

Columbus said the earth wasn’t flat, but round

And my man Big Pun wrote a rap with oun

See, they defied the conventional wisdom, each had a conviction many would say

is dumb

But they didn’t care, and Pun showed he didn’t care by pronouncing

«I don’t care» uncaringly, ouncare

See, it’s a mini manifesto for saying «yes»

When the rest of the world says «no»

It’s like don’t let the bastards get you down

Believe in yourself and think on your oun

And, if you think the reason Pun fudged it is 'cause he couldn’t rhyme it,

then you misjudged it

There’s a million easy ways to finish that couplet, and here’s just a few I

came up with

He could’ve said, «I can go downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere,

how 'bout oral sex, does that sound fair?»

Or, «downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere, I got my face up in your lounge

wear!»

Or, «downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere, wet and fuzzy like a drowned

bear!»

Or, «downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere, open in the middle like a town

square»

The point is, shoot for the moon

Soar like you’re a balloon

Go ape, you baboon

Break the cocoon

I know Pun doesn’t care, now show me that youn

Everybody say «ouncare»

Your goals are unrealistic

Ouncare

There are lots of really good reasons why you can’t accomplish what you want

Ouncare

You won’t get that promotion

Ouncare

You won’t earn that degree

Ouncare

You’re not as young as you used to be

Ouncare

The person you like is outta your league

Ouncare

Albert Einstein, you didn’t talk 'till the age of four, man

You can’t be a scientist!

Ouncare

Michael Jordan, you were cut from your high school ball team, you can’t play NBA

Ouncare

Zach Sherwin, you can’t write a rap song about one obscure lyric from another

rap song that wasn’t even that famous in the nineties, and expect it to become

a number one hit record

Ouncaaaaaaaaaare!

Ouncare