Hardware Store - "Weird Al" Yankovic

I thought that I would go right outta my mind

Until a friend told me the news

He said, «(Hey), you know that vacant lot

Right beside the gas station?

Well, somebody bought it And on the spot they’re gonna build a shop

Where we can go buy bolts and screws»

Since then I’ve been walking on air (air)

I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair

'Cause I’m so excited and I really don’t care

I’ve been waiting since last June

For this day to finally arrive

I’m so happy (happy) now just to be alive

'Cause any minute now I’m gonna be inside

Well, I hope they open soon

I can’t wait no, (no I) I can’t wait (oh when)

When they gonna open up that door?

I’m goin' (yes I’m) goin', I’m a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I’m goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I’m goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I’m goin' to the

Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight

Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out

I pressed my nose right up against the glass

You know, I had to be first in line

Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom

Want a pair of pliers for every single room in my house

See those hacksaws?

Very, very soon

One of them will be all mine

Guys with name tags walking down the aisles

Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles

Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles

All arranged alphabetically

And they’re doing a promotional stunt

There’s a great big purple sign out front

That says every 27th customer

Will get a ball pein hammer free

I can’t wait no, (no I) I can’t wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open up that door?

I’m goin' (yes I’m) goin', I’m a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I’m goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I’m goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I’m goin' to the

Hardware store

I’m goin' (yes I’m) goin', I’m a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I’m goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I’m goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I’m goin' to the

Hardware store

(breathe)

Would you look at all that stuff …

They’ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters

Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water heaters

Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires

BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers

Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters

Paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters

Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables

Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles

Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication

Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation

Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors

Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors

Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers

Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers

Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers

Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can’t wait no, (no I) I can’t wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open up that door?

I’m goin' (yes I’m) goin', I’m a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I’m goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I’m goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I’m goin' to the

Hardware store

I’m goin' (yes I’m) goin', I’m a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I’m goin', really goin' to the

Go