Generic Blues - "Weird Al" Yankovic

I woke up this morning

Then I went back to bed

Said I woke up this morning

Then I went right back to bed

Got a funny kind of feelin', like I got broken glass in my underwear

And a herd of wild pigs is tryin' to chew off my head

You know what I’m sayin'?

Well, I ain’t got no money

I’m just walkin' down the road

Said I ain’t got no money, honey

So I’m just walkin' down this lonely ol' road

Well, I wish I could get me some money

But I forgot my automated teller code

I was born in a paper sack

In the bottom of a sewer

I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast

My family was so poor

My daddy was a waitress

My mama sold bathroom tile

My brothers and sisters all hated me

'Cause I was an only child

I got the blues so bad

Kinda wish I was dead

Maybe I’ll blow my brains out, mama

Or maybe I’ll, yeah maybe I’ll just go bowlin' instead

I’m just a no-good, scum-sucking, nose-picking, boot-licking, sniveling,

grovelling worthless hunk of slime

Nothin' but a low-down beer-bellied, bone-headed, pigeon-toed, turkey-necked,

weasel-faced worthless hunk of slime

I guess I’ve got a pretty low self-image, maybe it’s a chemical imbalance or

something

I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I’ve got the time

Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk

Okay, now make it shut up

Plagues and famine and pestilence

Always seem to get me down

I always feel so miserable

Whenever I’m around

I wish somebody would come along

And stick a pitchfork through my brain

I’d flush myself right down the toilet

But I’d just clog up the drain

I got the blues so bad

Kinda wish I was dead

Maybe I’ll blow my brains out, mama

Or maybe I’ll go bowling

Or I just might go bowling

Maybe I’ll just rent some shoes and go bowling

Maybe I’ll join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid-lookin' shirt and

go bowling…

Instead