Pub Hassle - Tom Robinson

Hello darling I like your knockers

I like the way they’re hanging free

Did you leave it off tonight, then?

Bet you done that just for me

What do you mean you ain’t interested

What do you mean, you’re with your friend

What do you girls hang around in bars for

If it ain’t to pick up men?

Are you one of them women’s libbers

Are you the kind that burns your bra

Wouldn’t you rather we burned your knickers

That’s a good one: ha ha ha

What do you mean it isn’t original

Can’t you even take a little joke

If you got no sense of humour

How do you expect to get a bloke?

You don’t need one — what does that mean

What are you, some kind of a les

Is that your girlfriend — is she jealous?

Well never you mind about what she says

Why don’t you invite me over

So I can watch you kiss your friend

If she’s the man and you’re the woman

How come you both dress like men?

I bet you are fed up explaining

I’m not surprised if she’s all you got

Wouldn’t you rather try the real thing

Big & throbbing, red & hot

Alright alright don’t get offended

I’m only trying to be your friend

I don’t think you’re liberated

I just think you’re scared of men

What the fuck do you think you’re doing

You’ve torn my shirt and spilled my drink

This place has got a reputation

What will all the customers think?

Here John, show this bitch the door now

She can’t leave a feller alone

This Channel Four crap has gone too far now

There’s nowhere left a man can call his own