Bloodguilt -

…but it’s a troublesome thought trying to

Reconcile the differences between my actions and

What I claim to believe

Between my actions and what I believe

I can’t seem to escape the fear of never being good enough

My vices only weigh me down

Like an anchor fixed deep in hell

I’ve traversed the wastelands that judgment brings

I was born with blood on my head

And I’ve been drowning in it ever since

Some would call it spoild conviction

But all I know is that I’m depressed

A victim of slf-defeat with a lot of regret

It’s not as easy as it seemed once before to simply

Maintain my innocence

This familiar misery

Overwhelmed by catastrophe

Has left no place for peace

No relief, no reprieve, no release

No comfort

Can console me now

A reminder that I’m lost and abandoned

Was I forgotten about?

I’m sick of unanswered questions

I’ve grown exhausted

From repetitious failure

Will I always lack the discipline to

Guard myself and withstand temptation?

Guilty conscience, strip me bare

I’ll beat myself up until there isn’t a will to live

Righteously

Repentance is absent

Because I’m too busy letting the devil get the best of me

So I welcomed a heavy heart

From the burden of the sins I never thought You forgave;

Misunderstanding caused a fear of mistakes