Clowns Are Experts (At Making Us Laugh) - The Vandals

Clowns are neato, clowns are fun

Clowns are loved by everyone

Cops n' commies, even fags

Everybody loves a gag

Clowns everywhere are freakin' out

In parades they scream n' shout

They’re sad as hell, and they’re singin' the blues

Cause no one laughs at their great big shoes

Here’s some clowns we really love:

Bozo, Scoopy, Rusty Nails

And here’s a clown we really hate:

Ronald McDonald

You see he’s only in it for the burgers

And that’s not very funny

I saw a clown in the mall today

My brother cried and he ran away

They get no respect, aren’t served in bars

No matter how many friends they can fit in their cars

The other day 17 of my friends and me

Was drivin' around in the clown mobile towin' the ferris wheel in the back

And this cop pulls me over and says «Where ya goin' Bozo?»

I said, «I ain’t Bozo.

I sure wish I was, though.

The man’s a friggin' genius.»

Clowns are forced to take jobs across the nation

Below the level of their education

It’s hard as hell to make ends meet

With a painted face and gigantic feet

I was sittin' in a bar havin' a drink

And this clown walks in and says

«Bartender, give me a tree fort.»

The bartender looks at him and says,

«What's in a tree fort?»

Clown says

«Playboy books and cigars.»

Last verse same as the first

Acapulco version, ten times worse