Tech Support Guy -

It took 15 seconds for the first call to come through

When the building lost the network on a Tuesday afternoon

Adam’s already heading for the door

To the SEH server room on the tech support floor

Today’s not turning out as planned

His cellphone’s really getting jammed

There’s a strategies meeting on the 43rd floor

Where the Powerpoint curtains ain’t closin' no more

They can’t reach the network or the public shared drive

And in the finance office it ain’t worth being alive

The marketing manager’s porn

Has frozen on his screen and his expression, well it’s forlorn

And in the end they all just blame Adam

For a fault in Detroit, a hemisphere away!

But it’s so easy to always blame Adam

For a seven point clusterfuck on a boring day

After a call queue that lasts a few aeons

With others on hold like the Thames-Barrier flow

Adam is told that «We've got a problem»

And he calls his manager to let the world know

But there ain’t no outage in the states

Gonna be any relief to the fellow inmates

So in the end they all just blame Adam

For an unknown problem that they don’t understand

«I've got no Google!!»

they protest at Adam

«I need my Hotmail and Youtube to hand»

But he camps in the woods at the weekends

Where the cell signal can’t call his name

He zorbs with his mates down some hillside

Where he’s billions of miles from their blame

He does lighting for poets and rock bands

And he even gets into their songs

On weekdays he’s the support guy

The one you blame when it all goes wrong

The system goes back up, but just before four

But Adam works on for half an hour more

'Cos nobody rang to say that everything’s fine

But some twat hit the firebell, that’s the end of the line

Adam has to empty out the floor

He’s H&S for the area to add to the score

So in the end they all just blame Adam

For stalling their meetings to call out their names

He makes sure they’re present but still they blame Adam

For cold tea and soft biscuits and solitaire games