I Wish I Were a Prostitute Again - The Magnetic Fields

He dressed up as a bunny

And licked my little foot

He gave me lots of money

To thrash his naughty butt

And sing when he was done

He dressed me up as King Tut

My life was much more funny

And more entertaining then

I wish I were a prostitute again

He paid me for my urine

He paid for my poo

Dressed like the Shroud of Turin

Costumed as Betty Boop

Or as Martin van Buren

Or in a hula hoop

I sold him life insurance

And I pocketed the pen

I wish I were a prostitute again

I got him his own collar

Custom-made, studded with jewels

I made him hoot and holler

With my very special tools

I am a classics scholar

Because he put me through schools

He had twelve million dollars

Until he gave me ten

I wish I were a prostitute again

I was too busy shopping

To cavort with other men

I wish I were a prostitute again