Kristine -

You were hot as hell on the first date

I was nervous because I don’t like airports

Wrong way on the freeway

We ended up in downtown Chicago

I could never leave, I would rather be

Stuck inside a bus without a reason

You could rob me once, just like the black guy

With the bad heart that fucked me over

You had a hard fall on the driveway

We ended up right back in the snow bank

I guess I’m going to learn the hard way

How to fit in those pink pajamas

When I opened the door and farted, you just laughed and laughed

Don’t ever leave me broken-hearted if you ever decide to leave

When I burped in your mouth on the french kiss, you just laughed and laughed

Don’t ever tell your dad that we practiced how to shake his hand about a

thousand times

I can’t believe that I ever really found you

I don’t know how I’ll ever going to tell you

Every time that I try to write a love note

It always ends up sounding like a fart joke

I can’t believe that I ever really found you

I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get to tell you

About the cake that you baked you thought looked crappy

Who needs a birthday when you’re happy

I can’t believe that I ever really found you

I can’t say that I think that I deserve you

You give my heart a giant fucking boner

I want to share it with you when we’re older

Kristine Marie, you’re the best thing to happen to me